- His number desire the need and want for approval and validation. This can mean many ways of showing that; and I can mention some. That she shows him affection, she behaves in a feminine way in recipocrating his flirtatious ways and she shows vulnerability to him. She makes him feel special, needed, wanted in her life. When she sees him or hears from him she is excited, it feels like she has been waiting to hear from him. He is wanted. He is needed. He is loved.
How so many women especially young women fail in this first one is crazy. You’d not believe how women know this is important to them too and yet expect it from man but do not recipocrate in the same manner. It ends disasterously later on.
- He feels safe in her presence. In the world man lives in, he has discovered showing emotions and vulnerability is a bad idea. Even if women say they want to see that in a man, men have experienced they are taken for granted, and it can be used against them. When he feels safe in her presence, where he feels he can show his inhibitations i.e. he can relax showing all of him to her which he won’t out in general day to day living with other people.
- When he feels he can communicate with her about anything and she will listen, she will not judge, critcise but have empathy and understanding. There is no making it all about herself with crying, sobbing and devaluing him. She gets it. She’s listening to how he feels. When he experiences this then he has seen what it’s like with her in the future. Not only is she a woman but she is also his lover, partner he can share all he feels with her and they work together solving the issue at hand.
If it happens the opposite, with her getting upset, angry, sobbing and being melodramtic; to also devalue him; then he has learned he can never be open with her and her behaviour, or the relationship or how he feels or desires, less he is judged. He doesn’t see a long term future with her. She reminds him of what he hates about the world.
- When he feels that hs existence in her life makes her life or outlook in life better. He sees and he hears when he receives text from her, phone calls or when face to face intereactions; that she is happy because a man wants to feel he is the hero of her life, whether she can take care of herself, it means a lot to the man.
However, if he finds out she is always complaining about life, about how hard it is with him in her life, how difficult long distance is, or how difficult it has been due to whatever challenges, he begins to feel that him being in her life does not bring her happiness, does not make a different and he has failed. He learns he is not her hero and that later transforms to not wanting to feel this way and it pushes him away from her.
He learns that his love for her is a burden and everytime she behaves like this and says these words, paints images in his head that create negative toxic sensations that slowly kills his feelings for her.
- When he knows he can trust her with his most deepest fantasies and knows she will not judge him, make drama about it, and instead she desire to explore some or all with him.
- Put them together; he sees and feels the future with her. He wants to create memories with her and have a future with her.