I rejected a great company and accepted the one that turns out fired me. I seem to can’t let go of the regrets because of the choice that I made. What should I do?

1. You should use what you learned from your mistake. See it as a valuable lesson. While you can’t control what happens outside of yourself, you can control how you react to it. Adversity is a great teacher, however the lessons tend to be a bit rough to take. Still, the lesson is there, and you have the opportunity to grow from that. Yeah, I know that sounds all new age, pink and fluffy. But it’s more.

There was a man in Ancient Rome, named Seneca. He was a Stoic. He understood hardship from being exiled from Rome. He lost everything; his home, money, family…etc. He took advantage of the time in exile to become stronger than his emotions about it. A famous quote of his says “Fire tests gold, misfortune strong men.”

He knew what he was talking about. When people would buy gold (by trading for it) they tested the purity by melting it down. When the gold was in its molten state, all the dross and impurities would float to the top. That’s because gold is very dense.

In that same way, a strong man is tested by misfortune. At some point you discover what the really important things are in your life. You become stronger by realizing you can’t control the world, But you can control YOU.

I think you’re doing well in asking about this. It shows that you have self respect and a healthy self image. I hope you find another job that does you well. I know how that happens because I quit a job that turned out to be pure deluxe hell.

2. Throw a scheduled “pity party” for yourself. Write about your regrets and feelings then burn it. Be sure to include the circumstances of your firing an how you feel about that. I suspect that’s the real issue- not the “great company “ you turned down (although that feeds into your regrets). Shake it off, refresh the resume and start again. If you can’t jump start your positivity and optimism, don’t get stuck in your current state. Regrets turn into bitterness and inertia very quickly- and then a much longer time passes than you realized and is totally a waste of part of your precious life. If you find yourself unable to learn from it, bury it and move on with a good life, please consult your doctor and find some counseling and/ or medications to help you over this “hump”. A close friend I knew never got over a lay-off – it colored his attitude to work, his personality and mental outlook for the rest of his life. He refused to take any chances – even good ones- and became an “old fossil “ before his time, stuck in time. Don’t let a small setback do that to you. If it’s any help, most successful people have had a similar experience and have still gone on to bigger and better things.

3. Consider your life. What can you do something about, an event of the past that is just a memory, or your present, which still needs to unfold? It’s up to you to define your path. Don’t get stuck in what you can no longer change, but give everything you have to change what you can now. So many times, I’ve not chosen what I then considered to be the better path, only to realize in time that the choices I made were actually all right. Not because the best, simply because they all offered me precious lessons and the opportunity to develop and get to know myself better. So, no regrets, move on and up, keep on believing in yourself and life. At the end of the day, there really are no wrong decisions, there are only the ones you made and learnt from.

4. You rejected an offer from a great company because of the information you had at the time.
You selected an offer to another opportunity and that opportunity is over.
Obviously you have some talent, skill and experience to get two offers. Unless you were arrested for the termination, the firing will slow your progress, but it won’t stop you from getting to a place where you could have two offers to choose from.
Repeat the same thing you did originally. Focus on the action steps that got you that great company to offer you a job.
Understand your responsibility for the termination and use it to be a better employee.
Focusing on the regret is just lame procrastination. Blaming your sad feelings instead of getting up and getting yourself another job is holding you back. . All the best for your future.

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