Why are people so selfish and hypocritical?

Humans are weird. We are social beings, but only up to a certain limit. When it really comes down to it, we are very selfish. In periods of crises, we show our true colors.

Let’s look for example at what happened during the Great Britain Survey to stay or leave the European Union.

The people of G.B. primarily voted on ONE issue, which was: we do not want any more foreigners in our country. We want to decide ourselves whether we let people in or not. Basically all other subjects were ignored. They thought that if GB would just be able to close their borders for refugees, their country would be better off. No matter what. Pure selfishness.

Apart from the fact that it was not smart ignoring all the other subjects the countries within the European Union cooperate on among each other and so forming themselves a realistic picture of what was the better choice from their perspective, they let themselves be led by the fear of having to share a part of what they have with people who had to leave everything they have behind.

This fear was skilfully fed by the right wing politicians that threatened the people with terrorism. Terrorism is a farce. Much more people die by hands of the internal conflict between Catholics and Protestants then Muslim terrorists in GB.

This selfishness applies to ALL people, all over the world. The Greek, they blame ‘Europe’ for their situation, where it is the Greek people themselves who have structurally undermined their government finances by making it the national sport to escape paying taxes.

The Italians blame ‘Europe’ for their situation where the Italian people time and time again put corrupt people in leading positions and put up with the mafia.

And so on and so on. Even the people, of Dutch, complain about ‘Europe’ because they don’t receive enough money from Europe and have to pay too much to save ‘pathetic countries’, where we let out government spend money on senseless projects and do nothing against it.

It is all because selfishness is a survival skill. As a group, as well as an individual. It is a deep rooted automatism that is very hard to shut down. We can do it temporarily, at times we are doing well ourselves. But when shit hits the fan, it is me and mine first, and then the rest. Hypocrisy goes hand in hand with that. When applicable, we allow ourselves things that we would not allow others. Perfectly understandable, WE need to survive, not them.

2. To be selfish is just between taking care of yourself and actively harming others. When you actively harm others, it’s obviously to benefit yourself in some way, (such as mirroring past abuse received or attempting to feel emotion where this is none) otherwise why do it at all? In psychology it’s known as psychopathy. It is a very useful trait to have if you want to be a politician, lawyer, spy or CEO. It is absolutely despicable to have as a friend. Psychopaths lack the ability to activate large regions of their brains that monitor empathy and morality. So of course they lack these things.

If you are worried about being selfish yourself, then you’re fine. The fact that you are even remotely concerned speaks volumes. It is expected, since humans are innately loving. It explains everything, even why we fight, because people love and want to protect their kin, even if it hurts them.

If you are concerned about what to do when someone else is being selfish, then I need more details. These things are always examined on a case-by-case basis.

Many argue that we exist in a society that rewards selfishness, since our entire economy, government and education systems are based solely on competition. It is highly unusual, in my opinion, to run society against itself needlessly like this, so that the vast majority loses every battle. There can only be one “winner” after all. So arguably the world is quite selfish when western societal values have been twisted out of control and impose themselves upon the world.

On the other hand, does anyone deserve anything? Yes, I think everyone deserves not just a chance, but a full life. But why would the competitors vote themselves out of a potential victory? They won’t. It’s up to you to find your own way outside of the clashing swords of literal global death matches and seek world peace and prosperity for all. We have the technology to do so, and the will is building. Will it happen now, later or never?

  • We all know someone who is selfish. These are the people who will make decisions that benefit them, seemingly without giving any thought to the impact this might have on others. These are the people who will take the last chip, or who will try to dictate the activities of their group of friends.

Dealing with these kinds of people can be difficult but the first step to dealing with them effectively (and not going completely out of your mind in the process!) is to better understand what causes them to act that way in the first place.

So where does selfishness come from?

Evolutionary Psychology and Selfishness

Evolutionary psychology postulates that most human traits can be described by Darwin’s theory of natural selection. In other words, the psychological traits that we maintain today exist because they helped our ancestors to survive. Those traits that were not advantageous toward our survival would deny those individuals the opportunity to procreate.

It is very easy to see how there might be an evolutionary advantage to selfishness. After all, if you only have limited resources, giving those away to someone else is not going to improve your chances of not going hungry! Thus, selfishness is an unfortunate trait that has made its way into our present day and that still persists.

But why are some people more selfish than others?

What Makes a Person More or Less Selfish?

According to surveys, we expect intelligent people to be more selfish. Intelligent people know what it takes to get ahead and will therefore make those short-term survival-oriented decisions.

However, studies have found that the reverse is actually true (1). This is to say that the more intelligent a person is, the less likely that person is to be selfish.

The reason for this might stem from the fact that altruism also has survival value. Humans are naturally social creatures and this is a tool that we can use to our advantage. There is strength in numbers and by staying in groups, we are able to better fend off predation, better protect our resources and learn from one another. Thus, it actually pays to have the necessary traits to help us get along. This is demonstrated aptly in game theory – a mathematical theory that shows how working with others can help to maximize gains for the whole.

This might be why acts of giving trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin. It might also explain why more intelligent people are actually often more likely to give.

From a neurological standpoint, this release of endorphins may be the result of our theory of mind, combined with mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are neurons that fire when they witness (or imagine) something happening to someone else. This is the neurological basis for empathy.

Theory of mind meanwhile is our psychological construct that allows us to predict what other people are thinking or how they are going to act. This is what gives us our ‘social IQ’ and essentially allows those mirror neurons to be more ‘accurate’.

In other words then, while we all have ‘in-built’ altruism and selflessness – some people might be more predisposed to this kind of thinking due to differences in brain structure. And a more intelligent person is likely to have a better ability to a) think about the long-term consequences of their actions and b) understand the implications that their actions will have on another person and how that is likely to make said person feel.

Note too that some people simply appear to lack this ability. Psychopathy is a clinical disorder characterized by the complete lack of empathy and understanding. And someone doesn’t have to be a murderer to be a psychopath! An ex who was happy to cheat on you without showing remorse might well be a genuine psychopath, as might a colleague who steps on your toes in order to get ahead.

Why are people selfish?

Are humans so selfish?

  1.  It’s a well-known fact that human beings are social animals. Human being cannot exist alone. In every second of life, one human being needs the support of another human being to survive.

It could be the occasion of a baptism or a marriage ceremony, club party or funeral ceremony, in every beautiful and tragic moment of life, human beings need somebody to share their feelings and expressions. In fact not only human beings, but every creature in this world, cannot exist alone. In spite of all of this, every human being is selfish and self-oriented. Every human being always wants self-progress and development. No one wants others to be happy and prosperous, but why?

When a person grows up, they say, “I came alone into this world and I will go out alone.” But they forget that there was somebody who brought them to come into this world. As soon as a baby is born, he/she starts to cry. The baby does not cry for others, he cries for himself so that he can get milk to drink and survive. So, humans appear selfish by birth. But is this behavior natural or is it rather a habit that they develop when they come into this world?

This totally confuses me! Do we develop this at birth or do we acquire it later? Does the social environment teach human beings to be selfish? Can any human being be free of this natural disease of humans – “selfishness” or not? How would human beings be if they were not selfish? How would the world be with the people who were not selfish? Would that world look the same as our world today or would it be different? Would that world be as developed as today’s world or more developed? These are burning questions for me!

It is a well-known fact that humans are the most intelligent beings in this world. Human beings have progressed greatly in different aspects of development. Humans have made this world very narrow and almost artificial. But the only thing that humans are not able to do, from my point of view, is to free themselves from the natural human disease of “selfishness”.

Can we be human and not selfish? Humans have never been free of selfishness, but why is this? Why do human beings always only refer to “I” and “my”? Are corruption and discrimination the ultimate result of this selfishness? Humans always think first about themselves and only afterwards about others. Regardless of the situation, humans first think about what benefit or advantage they can gain and only think about others afterwards.

Why is this? Is this the fault of God or of us as humans? Who is to blame for this selfishness? Is it a good or a bad thing to be selfish? Humans consider themselves to be the most superior beings on the planet. We have naturally learned to think only about ourselves, but why? People talk a lot about helping others but they don’t unless they see that they too can benefit from doing so. Why?

What is responsible for making people so selfish? Is it the role of the heart or the mind that lies within the human body? It is said that those who listen to their mind are selfish while those who think from their heart are kind. Is this true or just a saying? If so, what might be the number of people in this world who think via their heart? Are people who listen to their heart really helpful? How many people might be roaming this world who are helpful?

In some cases people think about others but while doing so, they look for an advantage for themselves. Is this selfishness related to Charles Darwin’s theory of “struggle for existence”? Are people selfish merely in order to survive or are there other reasons?

It is said that the finest thing and the most holy and noble deed in this world is to help others. Every religion says that serving others is the only true religion that exists in this world.

But, being the most intelligent being in the world, why can every human being not serve others rather than just himself/herself? Is this selfishness the reason for the existence of superiority and inferiority in this world? Is it because we are selfish that we want to be very rich? Is selfishness the reason for all the corruption, criminal activities and murders in this world? Is selfishness the reason why people are unhappy in this world? Is selfishness the reason behind many great world wars? Can a human brain control how selfish humans are? If yes, why has this not happened until now?

I think the reason why people are selfish is due to the greedy nature of people. Or, it may be that selfishness makes people greedy.

Once again, all these questions lead to me being confused but ultimately I would like to see a world filled with people with holy hearts and minds.

I think that if a person starts to think about others in a positive manner, many things in this world can be changed and improved. In order to achieve this, people have to think at the highest level rather than merely thinking about themselves as an individual and considering the benefits and advantages that they may gain from their conduct.

It is a well-known fact that we cannot take anything from this world with us when we die. People even leave their own bodies in this world after their death. If we say that there is nobody who thinks about the welfare of others, this will also be an injustice to some great personalities who sacrificed their lives for others.

I think that humans, being one of the most superior and intelligent beings in this world, must be free from every kind of selfishness. We should come out of the world of selfishness and try to live for others. Humans must listen to their hearts and their minds – I would like to live in a world where everyone is equal and happy and where everyone has equal access to all rights and freedoms. Humans have the power and potential to help all helpless creatures in this world and to make this world a happy and peaceful place.

2.  Humans have both selfish and altruistic drives. We’re probably selfish because people who just happen to be selfish (e.g. via a mutation) often outcompete more giving people for resources. They wind up living longer and having more children. So their selfishness gets passed on to the next generation.

Selfishness was probably more of an asset in our past than it is, now, when resources were more scarce*, but Natural Selection works slowly, and we’re the product of the selfish ones, so we have inherited their selfishness.

We’re probably altruistic because we evolved to be tribal pack animals. Hunter-gatherers have to cooperate in order to survive, and anyone who is too selfish is a threat to the group. An extremely selfish person will get ostracized (or worse) by the tribe. As a result, he’ll have few or no children, so his extreme selfishness won’t get passed on to future generations.

Both extreme selflessness and extreme selfishness tend to be liabilities, so (with some exceptions) they don’t exist in our species. (We think of the rare exceptions as pathological.) Most humans wind up with a collection of selfish and altruistic drives that duke it out inside them, each winning on this occasion or that.

Note: human altruism evolved in kin-bases tribes. People tend to get less and less altruistic, the more they relate to others outside their immediate circle of family and friends. Which is why world peace is very, very difficult. When humans are able to extend their selflessness beyond their social group, it’s usually by rallying around some sort of transcendent idea: a god, a country, a sport or art form they’re fans of, a common enemy, or a set of guiding principles.

* When modern people do have to compete for resources, we see selfishness increase. People start “looking out for number one.” Unless someone can convince them to rally around some sort of savior figure. This often helps dictators get into power. (As always, there are exceptions. There are people on the edge of starvation who still spend an extraordinary amount of energy helping total strangers. We admire such people and recognize that they’re exceptional.)

People with more resources tend to be more altruistic, but there are limits to their altruism, because they got their resources through some sort of privilege. Unless they’re exceptional empathy, they have to go into denial about where their privilege comes from—and who it causes to suffer—at least part of the time.

The fact that many of these folks still give to charities and volunteer their time shows that they’re not entirely selfish. They are still pulled towards (and simultaneously away from) altruism.

Even if we put the worst possible spin on their behavior, and say they’re only giving time and money because it make them look good, there’s a reason it makes them look good. It’s because their culture (at least in some ways) favors altruistic behavior.

Can you define that life is not finding yourself, but life is creating yourself?

  1. Self-realization is what you must seek. Self-realization contains all answers of your questions.

Without self-realization whether you think you found yourself or you think you created your life in any way your life will be waste.

Seek self-realization as your first and last priority. Self-realization is the way.

2. Life is all about discovering our true self, not the one that our society wants or expects from us. It is high time to stop finding yourself and go ahead to creating yourself.

We want our society to accept us, so we change, we compromise and we start losing our true essence. So follow your passion, not society. Create your own role not just play it.

Life is a big journey and you can survive when you know about yourself the most. Your flaws, your imperfections, thoughts, emotions and many more. You being you is what you are. And that implies in finding yourself. But when you start changing for a good reason, Building yourself up, learning new things about yourself and handling the toughest situation, including the ups and downs that what you are creating yourself.

The truth is “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. “ It’s about discovering what we’re capable of learning from our challenges in life to evolve into the person we inspire to be.

“Life is not about what you see, it’s about how you see it. “

“Be a voice of inspiration for change”

3. It means creating a better version of yourself, your vision, self-esteem, confidence, etc. It’s not about appearance, self-care, and wardrobe.

Create yourself tiny habits that naturally lead to a certain behavior that naturally lead towards your favorite destination.

Are you not comfortable with something in life? – Start small. No need to run away to the hairdresser, and on emotions cut long hair or coloration green. No. Start with an inner state, with simple. Even cleaning in the house, you can put your thoughts in order.

Understand that it’s human nature to change. When a person stops developing, begins to degrade, stand still, and lose himself, it’s a lot worse. Because all things that you studied at life, all lose sense and go away. Stop fair to get out of your comfort zone! Stop living the dreams of “what you want to be.” Live now. Feel that you are here. Release the past. Throw away the unnecessary with your life: things and thoughts. To learn something, that helps you, for example, how to manage your emotions or finally become more confident.

No matter how difficult it is, know, it’s worth it. And you can do it best. Experiment, look for what is best for you. And most importantly, believe in yourself. You will succeed!

4. Life is creating us and it is not the vice versa, we are in the process of being created at every occasion. We learn new things that life shows and so we mound ourselves accordingly

Why do I feel as if people envy me?

  1. There are so many possibilities. Maybe you aren’t reading people right. What you interpret as negative energy might be something else, or it might be for some reason that doesn’t involve you, at all.

However, if you think they are all being envious of you and they aren’t, they might start giving you negative energy because you’re acting as if the world revolves around you.

Where I grew up, people didn’t brag. If you were good looking, a snappy dresser, confident and intelligent, you never said so. You let your actions speak for themselves. I don’t know if you point these things out to people in real life, but if you do, that could be a problem for you.

You could have poor people skills or poor emotional skills. You could be sarcastic. You could be a snob. You could be anything, even if you do treat people as you want to be treated.

So rather than asking people to speculate, maybe it would be more helpful to you if you asked the people you think are envious of you whether that is the case. If they say they are, then ask why. Only people who know you can give you the information you want.

2. Sounds like you’re a bit vain, actually quite a bit, and the fact that you feel others envy you, arrogant as well. This could be, or what you wish to be, but to feel it and say it does not make this envy so, it does though make you vain and arrogant, which also means you feel above others. It will be extremely upsetting to you with this high opinion of yourself if you are rejected and if you are disfigured or disabled even slightly, it may put you in a state of depression.

I would be aware of my abilities and qualities but not think to highly of them or project my opinion of myself unless it is required by whatever profession I choose. Even then a reality check is in order to prevent loss of self-esteem should your ego be brought down.

3. Well you seem like you know exactly what you want in life, and the people that envy you don’t. You seem like a very confident person and you got my one of my pet peeve’s down (treat other the way you would want to be treated.) just don’t let someone that is negative bring you down and that’s exactly what there are trying to do. Go for what you want in life don’t let some Debi downer blow up your confidence. Don’t expect that these people that are negative to go away there always going to be there you just got to get past them.

So what I’m saying is don’t let this bug negative mess up your life tell it to leave you alone and go for what you want in life.

4. You seem to me to know what and who you are and also what you want from life, which is quite an achievement, especially knowing that at such a young age. Don’t dismiss your feelings or listen to these other negative comments. Be proud of yourself not to the point of arrogance stay humble. If you feel something negative trust your feelings.

Sometimes there are people who would secretly like to have those same qualities but don’t, so they might feel envious of you. Keep being a nice person it sounds like you will go far in life.

Why is it that I feel as if I am better than others but I still feel jealous?

  1. There could be so many answers to this and any one might or might not be the right one for you.

To be straightforward: you just need to grow up. And in order to do that you need to realize some things and accept them, and it can be an uncomfortable process.

If you are used to being pampered and of desirable traits while young, then having that status challenged can be what triggers your jealousy. Your need to keep things the way they were before because they were beneficial to you are what keeps you feeling this way. It’s great that you’re asking about it, now you just need to work on it. Since I don’t know what your aim and goal is (if you want to be popular by those standards, or if you just want emotional peace from it all) I’ll just answer with some assumptions.

A big part of the challenge to overcome this is to learn to accept that you are fine no matter what – and that the public depiction of what is desirable does not define you nor your worth. You can be great and loved in a community for example, without having 100k followers on instagram. You could be an impactful figure that has an effect on people’s lives and is remembered by people, without being popular and such. So it is important that you don’t validate yourself through those means and use them as means to compare yourself to others. You and any one of them will never be the same. It is all a naive ego in play, and it takes a conscious decision to let go of it.

An assumption I feel you might take fault with as well, is that you want to focus on yourself. Focusing on yourself is fine albeit it might be going against the purpose of this question – if you want to stop feeling jealousy, you need to stop looking at yourself all the time and compare yourself to others. Learn to let go and relax. Maybe also look at others and praise them for their achievement. Or be frank about them being better than you at something (if you still want to maintain your cool). It takes a lot to be a good person and to get peace with one self – being in touch with reality plays a big role in that.

To do any of that, try by learning to be humble (keyword: empathy). It’s a feat and a loved trait that cannot go wrong in terms of this. You might or might not still be the smartest or the most beautiful, but your friends can be your equals without you being any less smart or pretty. Take a reality check and maybe actually go out and try to figure out if those standards you apply to yourself still count. Standards change all the time, especially with age in youth. What you feel cannot be trusted – it’s what you can objectively observe that tells the truth. Many things don’t have a direct answer either, so some things you won’t be able to figure out that way – again, just learn to relax and let go of these matters. Be grounded and happy for your friends becoming successful. That way you might be a step ahead of them in terms of personal growth. Be humble and take a deep breath. Once you’ve gotten some distance from your ego, you can start working on useful skills and gaining knowledge that will help you gain superiority in the future – all with some of that humbleness carried with you all the time. You want to be great, but without hurting anybody in the process. Be patient and have tolerance.

You don’t want the best for yourself alone – you want the best for everybody.

2. I can totally relate to you here. I have felt the same way before, and I think I might have it figured out.

You feel you are better than others because in school you were always more beautiful and smarter than others. You were the best in these specific areas. You probably became conditioned to be the best all the time, in compared to everyone.

But now, you’re starting to realize that being the prettiest and the smartest is not as good as being the happiest. They seem so happy on their social media lives, you want that same happiness. You have seen that being the smartest doesn’t mean you are the most skilled, they apply makeup so well and are good at it.

Subconsciously I think you are aware that a happy person is an attractive person. You may feel as though you’re not actually the prettiest anymore. Being pretty was your thing, and now you’re coming in 2nd place, 3rd place. To you, being the best is your self-validation. It makes you different.

Everyone faces a little competition with others. But unfortunately you’ll never actually be better than someone else. Not prettier. Not smarter. Maybe taller, or thinner but that doesn’t mean better. With some soul searching you will learn that everyone is beautiful, and everyone is smart in their own way. Competition about being prettier and smarter is not healthy, because no one ever wins or loses.

It will take time, and it gets easier as you age. Maybe take a break from social media, and try taking up some yoga. Yoga is great for “connecting with your inner self”. It works like magic to find new self-confidence.

I hope you can overcome your insecurities one day. I know how these feelings can eat you up inside. Life is much better once you stop comparing yourself to others, and just focus on being happy, learning new skills, and helping others.

3. Some abstract truths are so obvious, that even hard science can crudely measure them in ways that deeply affirm them. The complements you received & the likes one receives on social media for the image presented signify status only science has confirmed. Not any depth of personal relationship. What good is status? It’s frequently used as a substitute for quality personal relations. Empathy is biological & needs to exercise to stay sane & happy. All morality, Love & positive socialization directly derive from it. You’re discovering status & authentic loving relationships are not the same & do not like it. Nor should you. Any genuine relationship that has respect & caring in it is a loving relationship. That includes sincere politeness extended to or from someone you hardly know. There is a certain amount of psychological laziness in us all. You’ve let status substitute for good relationships & are finding it hurts.

Are you confusing beauty (which is intrinsic) with prettiness? It’s one of many questions you need to start asking yourself. Jealousy is the result of feeling a lack inside yourself & looking for something outside yourself to fill it. It never, ever can. All happiness results from living your life from the inside/out. All misery comes from doing so mostly from the outside/in. This means you need to figure out who you are or nothing can ever truly make sense. Introspection & self-awareness are therefore nonnegotiable. There are neural pathways embedded in your unconscious composed of negative emotions. The good news is they can be rewritten. Consider it a sign to attend to the core principle underlying all Psychological heath – paying attention to your emotions as they come up & positively dealing with them. Doing so can resolve virtually all issues but it is very much like building a pyramid, building the strong base on which to build a life sometimes goes up slowly – but soon enough it goes up very quickly indeed.

Here’s the most powerful operating principle in life & then how it’s powerfully affecting you here – What you focus on expands.* The more you focus on these negative feelings the more they expand & the more you attract & magnetize still more – in addition to feeling horrible & frequently as well.

* One must always focus on the beauty in everyone & everything you encounter – then that expands. Done with intense creativity & passion in particular. Always but always.

4. You are likely used to the good feeling of being superior to your peers by your level of attractiveness and intelligence. In some ways you may set high standards for yourself and expect yourself to be better than others. Perhaps it might be helpful to remember that life is not a competition. Instead, it’s about reaching our potential and helping others get to the top along with us. The notion of being superior to others seems satisfying, but it can be rather lonely and unsatisfying to be standing at the top all alone. Life is meant to be shared and happiness is about building relationships and memories with others, but this can’t be achieved if your focus is on being ahead of everyone else. Focus on being the best you. How can you improve you? Can you be more courteous, more patient, and kinder? Always strive to improve yourself so that you can be satisfied with you!

Because you really don’t think you are better than them. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be jealous. Use makeup if that makes you feel better and get off of social media until you feel confident in yourself. Truly feel it, not just tell yourself that you are better. Create the life that you are jealous of.

5. Don’t worry, we all feel jealousy.

Jealousy, fear and anxiety are feelings that blow up any little negative event out of proportion. To combat them, you must bring a reality check. Every time you feel jealous, anxious or depressed, always combat the exaggerated thought with reality.

For example: That person has so much more friends…or whatever.

Reality: He/she is probably faking it or she genuinely is nice and goes out of the way to have friends. An approach which you may not like.

However, if you genuinely find a fault with yourself, rectify it.

How do I stop taking everything personally?

1.  By becoming more rational and objective and learning to accept your reality.

The Five-Step Practice of Acceptance,

Which consists of three main skills, objective distance, acceptance, and reason.

-) Abiding in a more objective distance

-) Accepting and embracing the reality of the situation

-) Working to limit instinctual reactivity from arising

-) Apply reason to gain understanding

-) If moved, act to improve the situation

* Step one, begin by learning to abide in a more objective distance by slowing down, focusing on the breath, and becoming present in the current moment. Take a step back from your perception of the world to create a slight distance between yourself and reality. Now, shift your awareness from the doing mind to the observing mind, abiding less as the doer of actions and more as the observing witness. Experientially, you may feel a shift in perception as your inner-world and outer-world come into harmony and balance. Compulsive thinking may begin to fall away, along with the intense immediacy that normally plagues us, which is replaced by a spacious, clear, and open objectivity. Our aim is that through practice, this state of objective distance can become a nearly continuous state of mind, our default-mindset where the mind consistently abides. From within this state, when difficulties arise, we’re prepared, and have the space to operate effectively.

*  Step, step two, is to accept whatever may arise and openly embrace the reality of the situation.

* Step three you remain watchful, working to limit any impulsive, involuntary reactivity that may arise.

* Step four is to apply reason to gain insight into your problems within their larger context.

* Step five, with the understanding gained from this method you can maturely decide whether to ignore the situation or to take actions to resolve it.

2.  In these times, this is called a “luxury problem”.

Realize and understand that everything (or even most things) are not about you.

This is probably going to sound mean, but it’s both really arrogant and insecure behavior.

Find something you love to do, that you have a real passion for and go there. You will be too busy to worry.

My Grammie always said ‘What people think is not your business. If they want you to know, they’ll tell you.

My father says ‘Stop renting out the space in your head so other people can live there. Sweetie, you don’t have that much space’.

And I say be kind to yourself and even kinder to others, cause somewhere, someone is having a real hard time and could probably use your help.

3.  Question people’s opinions and fact check to see if it even applies to you.

It’s okay if someone says something bad about you because not everyone will think the same about you, and you can’t expect them to see things how you see them. It’s not worth it to fight the whole world just because they have a negative perception of you. Their perception might be wrong, so.

Some will like you and some won’t like you, and there’s no amount of convincing that will change that.

People are allowed to have opinions, but they aren’t allowed to force them.

If someone is disrespectful then you can confront them diplomatically, rather than just taking what they said and going home.

But if you hate yourself or have low self-esteem then you won’t question people and you’ll take everything personally.

4. Not to take things personally is self-protection. Besides, not everything in the world is about you. So, just think that whatever was said or done was not for you, unless it was directly addressed to you.

Life isn’t fair and most folks really don’t care enough about you for you to take it personally. Life is hard.. once you get that it gets easier.

Understand what the intention of what is being said is. Another thing, get over your self. Only those who think about themselves too much, tend to take things personally.

with lots of practice. Start with one example, work out what you reacted to, and develop something else to say or do. watch closely, and repeat as necessary.