- Everyone says they’re sorry for any number of perceived infractions, all the time. They also use it as a form of sarcasm. If they say they’re sorry too much, it gets on my nerves, but as an informal matter, I suppose I’m no different than anyone else.
That gets me to formal apologies.
Where I have not played any role in the circumstances leading to said moment of truth, NO. I will nearly always express empathy or sympathy for the nature and circumstances of the truth, where I sense a need to deescalate a crisis that might be developing.
Where the subject of the truth believes I have played role in the circumstances leading to said moment of truth, when I have not, NO. I will probably explain myself, tell the truth, and nearly always express empathy or sympathy for the nature and circumstances of the truth, where I sense a need to deescalate a crisis that might be developing. Most of the time, I am oblivious, as is probably half the population, and I do not learn until later about the impacts of the lies of whatever variety on the subject. Contrary to popular belief, it is not incumbent upon me or anyone else to deliver everything we conceive to be lies, just in case; in many situations, this is inappropriate.
Where I have hesitated to fully disclose a truth, YES. I would likely apologize for hesitating, but I doubt I would hesitate until some crisis is afoot.
Where I have played a significant role in the circumstances leading to said moment of truth—N/A. I mostly tell the productive truth—where it is necessary, and only the parts that will likely lead to a positive, productive outcome.
The rest of the time, I have a decision: (a) leave the truth to the person who was responsible for lying or omitting the truth in the first place, stepping in only to prevent a disaster for someone who is in the dark, as would every concerned, conscientious, humane individual or (b) carry the truth to my grave as something that could never lead to any positive, productive outcome.
Sometimes truth is just truth in all its toxic glory. I will never divulge to the people I would have told had I thought it would have been positive.
2. Well it depends. If you hurt them by telling them the truth about something that’s clearly offensive like the way they look or are as a person, then yes you’d have to apologize for that. (Something’s are better left not said)
If you’re telling them the truth about something that happened or something that’s not offensive then no, you wouldn’t need to apologize. (Especially if they ask you for the truth)
People search for the truth but can’t handle it most times. I personally think no one should ever have to apologize when they tell someone the truth (If not offensive). It’s worse, if you lie. I guess it just depends what you’re telling the truth about.
3. If their feelings are hurt yes. And especially if I offered this “truth” without FIRST being asked to speak my mind. We only want to hear our own truth confirmed, and if we do not see an unpleasant/unflattering truth it is usually because we do not wish to see it (or cannot handle the discomfort of seeing it). Be gentle with people.
J. Krishnamurti said to never tell an unpleasant truth and that is a good adage to live by whenever possible. BUT if the person sincerely ASKS for your view of the truth, I think it is okay if you are tactful and gentle when you tell them what you think the truth is.