How can I overcome guilt of lying? I’m in a very serious relationship with a girl and lied to her about my past (academics). I sometimes feel like telling her, but that would hurt her badly and probably she’ll leave me. Should I tell her?

  1. Truth is the base of any relationship, but here’s a funny thing.

When we start dating someone we lie about lot of things because we’re not sure about other person, we just want to impress them. So from the way you phased your question it’s quite evident you’re sure about the girl now and want to take the relationship one step further.

Guilt is the result of that “desire to take relationship one step ahead”.

If you are ready you can tell your girlfriend about the truth and leave rest for God, destiny, fate whatever you believe in.

I want you to remember one thing “uncertainty is the only certain thing in life, you might hide this one thing now and live in guilt but maybe few years later some other thing would come up and she might leave you, so it’s better to take chance now, don’t live in fear. Living in fear is the ultimate death for any human. Be free and live. Everything happens for a reason”.

In my opinion, tell her. Admit it. You won’t feel better unless you do that. If she loves you truly for your heart, then she won’t care about what academic achievements you have (that’s just a 45% chance. But that’s more than enough.) If she just fell for you for your achievements alone, then I would say that she isn’t a very good lover (no offense intended).

Just break it to her slowly. She might be a bit hurt. That’s obvious. But don’t keep it from her and inflate the balloon any longer. If you do, in the end, you’ll regret it for sure when it pops. It’ll be even harder then.

Now even if she reacts badly and leaves you (I hope and pray that she won’t), just have in mind that it just wasn’t meant to be. My best wishes with you.

2. You need to tell her as the longer the lie exists the more damage it will do when found out. I would simply admit it but with the explanation that I found her so attractive that I would have told her I was secretly Superman if I thought that would help me win her. Tell her she is such an amazing woman and you felt that your life could simply not be fulfilled without her. Tell her you are ashamed of yourself for telling such a lie but your heart made you do it and the time you have spent with her made it worth the risk. If you do it right she might be flattered and will laugh at your Superman comment. If the room suddenly fills with pistol smoke I think you may be in trouble.

  • I would suggest you to let her know about everything .It’s true, that we fear losing people whom we love, but what kind of a love is it when there is no transparency between two people? It is always better to tell the truth than to comfort people with lies. Guilt will suck you with each passing day, but confrontment would bring you relief and contentment.

So, go speak your heart out and if, she loves you as well, she may get upset at first, but would understand for sure.

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