How do I stop feeling so guilty about lying to someone close to me without telling them I lied?

  1. Think about the reason why you lied in the first place.

If you had a good reason and there was no other way, you should find solace in that.

If you didn’t need to lie or you feel that lying only compromised your value system, then consider telling the truth now. But if it’s too late then make the decision to not lie anymore in the future.

It depends on context. But lying takes its toll on you and you can’t feel at ease when you are hiding things from someone that is close to you. The best thing to do is to use this as food for thought to decide on how you want your relationship to be with that person and how “close” you actually want to be with him/her.

Being close and being untruthful don’t mix. And the one who suffers most in the end is you.

2. It may be very difficult for you to stop feeling guilty unless you tell this person the truth. In my opinion, it’s never too late to be honest. If this person is truly close to you as you said, they should understand, even if they’re hurt or angry at first. It’s completely up to you whether you want to tell them, but I think that it would provide you the relief that you’re looking for.

I know it’s really embarrassing when we confess to a lie, but that is really a small price to pay for being able to rid ourselves of guilt feelings.

If that person doesn’t understand what you’re going thru and the integrity of your truth-telling, he or she wasn’t that good a friend in the first place.

But regardless, when you do this you will feel a great sense of release.

3. We are all humans. And being humans we do make mistakes. What best we can do is to learn from that and avoid a repeat. Guilt can never help you to move forward or help change the past. So, stop the self-sabotage.

Do you really want to know, you feel guilty because the person you told the lie to is now living the lie, they are going along as if it was true and not thinking about it, they believe you and you are ashamed because they think they know you but they don’t and its because you hid from them, you can squash this whole thought if you can grasp the dynamics but my question is if you care about them don’t you really want them to know you, the whole you and see if they still care about you? Otherwise you are lying to yourself about your own reality.

Make up some super-fantastic reason to explain your behavior, ending with “I can understand if you want rid of me”, and send it to them

Or, blame the ‘other you’ in your head? Or, tell the promise you have made to the world to never lie again.

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