- Partly it can be, if you noticed “red flags” or didn’t have your boundaries enforced or strong enough. Sometimes, we tend to give people the “benefit of the doubt” and put our trust in them too quickly, before really taking the time to get to “know” the person. I have made this very same mistake and was “afraid to speak up”, in fear of losing them. I ended up chasing after them, acting “clingy” and probably scared them away. I even acted like I didn’t “need” them. And I was only lying to myself.
My heart…said and knew something totally different. We make mistakes. We judge their actions towards us. We want to “blame” them. We get hurt by them. Sometimes, we want to hurt them back, so they can “know” the pain that we felt. We let our emotions cloud our brains. We do things that we aren’t proud of.
But we shouldn’t do that. Getting revenge will NOT make you feel better. People can get used, because they haven’t had enough experience in life. It just means that you have a good heart and you trusted “blindly”. Them taking advantage of your heart or your kindness…says something about “THEM” as well. If they cared about you at all…they should have been honest and truthful with you, instead of taking advantage of you.
So just forgive them and forgive yourself for trusting in someone too quickly. Look for the “red flags and enforce your boundaries from now on, and people won’t be able to make you feel “used” anymore. Be patient with yourself, and don’t feel bad about making the mistake. It was a “lesson” that you learned, and it will help you from now on, as you go forward. It’s all about making mistakes, learning lessons, maturing and growing, forgiveness and showing yourself compassion. Learn how to tell people “NO” sometimes, and you will see that they won’t be able to “use you” or take advantage of you anymore.
2. Believe me, it won’t last forever.
Someone in your past has wired you to be sub-servant, believe what you have been told, give people the benefit of the doubt and be kind to everyone. Slowly over time you will realize, people only respect people who have something they want. That a respected person can be as rude and insulting as they want, because of this.
That 95% of people are rude and think only of themselves. That you must not judge your lovely morals on other people. That there are people who give and people who take. Generally if someone is a taker, they take in all aspects. That people believe what they want too, regardless of the truth. That even when you are kind to some, they will steel your pension/jewelers. That you will be called weird and strange, by weird and strange people. Slowly as you get older, your 300 Facebook friends will be whittled down to three actual true friends.
That you will dislike most people and they totally get on your nerves. You may even go through life feeling suicidal, because everyone is being a shit to you, for no reason. You will be made to feel worthless, but you are not. The universe cares and you care. Let everyone else be the pathetic, spoilt, and full of shit, back stabbers. You don’t want to be and you don’t have to be.
Advice is: – Go by a person’s actions, not by the pretty words they sell. Don’t feel bad about being disliked. Most people are shit. Unfortunately we have to bear the 99, to meet the 1 nice one.
It is not your fault or let alone a fault to believe the best about people. It is a quality that needs to be harnessed so be a bit more observant of others and decide as soon as possible of what you tolerate and do not tolerate of being taken advantage of. As long as you are not disadvantaged in any ways, let them take advantage of you.
3. Absolutely. Since the day you are born into the world, you find out sooner or later, that most people are not sincere with you. They use you, then they kick you. This cycle never ends until the day you cut out fearlessly from giving yourself to people’s crumbs. Worthless crumbs. You were always giving your best while they were giving you their least. You showed a lack of experience and judgment. It does not mean that you were wrong in showing goodness and kindness to people. You were showing it to the wrong people expecting your generosity to be recompensed with at least some sort of gratefulness, and I believe from my point of view, that is why you asked the question.
That’s fine to view people optimistically, but you have to smart about it. Most people will take advantage of others without even realizing their doing it. You wouldn’t give someone a blank check and tell them to fill it out for whatever amount they needed, because they probably would, after all, you told them to. So make up some boundaries and hold others to them. And don’t wait them crash through them before you sense danger.