What is the best way to treat people who continuously find fault with everything you do?

  1. It depends on every person and the situation.

If you are living with this person on your own choice, as if it’s a partner, then end it. You can try talking to them first, explain to them why their behavior hurts you, how it makes you feel and if it’s necessary tell them that you can’t live with that so either they change or you’ll leave.

And if they keep the behavior just leave and don’t look back.

Now if you don’t have a choice, if this is a relative or friend you must live with due the situation, there are other things you can do. Just like before you can try talking to them about it. I had a similar problem with my father and when it became too much I talked to him, told him what he was doing and how I felt. He was angry at the beginning, he became very defensive, but he started trying to change. Of course you also must have patience, the person won’t stop the behavior in a day, but if they are willing to change themselves be patient but no submissive, call them out when they do it again, but let them know you understand they are trying and you appreciate that.

But if the person doesn’t believe they are at fault, are not willing to change or there’s something that prevents you from even talking about it, then you must keep a constant check on yourself.

Be critical of yourself but not pessimist, you have the right to disagree and trust your own opinion. Ask yourself if this person’s opinion on you really matters. Do not let their opinion have a hold on you. You have no obligation to please anyone. With time you might learn to ignore what they say.

But that’s a constant battle, so if possible do what you can to distance yourself from this person and live somewhere else away from them.

2. Oh the insufferable pessimist! That critical, negative, heavy piece of concrete that pisses in everyone’s cornflakes!

Well…depends on your circumstances and who you’re talking about.

If it’s someone close…I usually start to walk away…exit the room and while walking I say, “maybe one day, you’ll have something positive to say about someone or something!” But in any case, I do make some comment to let them know that their constant negativity and criticism isn’t going to be tolerated and in the worst cases, I have suggested they seek professional counselling for their attitude…their judgmental arrogance. It’s not acceptable, not normal and if not brought to their attention they’ll end up alone and bitter. So…you can help? Or you can hinder? It’s your choice.

3. What is the best way to treat people who continuously find fault with everything you do?
With distance. Put as much distance as you can between you and the fault finder. They are not worth your time or effort. Sometimes, that fault finder is a parent, and that’s a lesson in reverse psychology–“How not to be a parent.”
Example: Take what the boor says and reverse it. “You are not pretty like your sister.” Answer, “You are correct, I’m much prettier than she is.” If you have been around this jerk long enough, you will know their scheme and way of being destructive. You can plan your answers/replies in advance.
But the best thing to do is not be around them. With friends like this, who needs enemies?

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