Can you be relatively satisfied with a partner who lacks empathy?

  1. I cannot, CAN NOT, cannot be with someone who cannot see my point of view and empathize.

The ability to empathize is the key to a successful relationship:

• Without it, you are incapable of forgiveness and moving forward. Empathy is required to understand and forgive the irony of the human condition and our mistakes that are borne from that humanness.

• Emotional and mental intimacy will also be low if you cannot empathize with your partner’s pain or frustration, or moments of success and celebration.

• Empathy is a foundation for respecting one’s partner and not using their vulnerabilities against them. Without empathy a person is not capable of seeing a person as an individual with their own set of boundaries and values.

• Low empathy – there is a low need to accommodate other people’s interests and preferences; “everyone is, or should be, like me!” Accommodation of needs and compromise are part of a healthy connection.

• Low empathy have a diminished capacity for sincere apology; they often don’t understand the impact of their hurtful behavior. Without that insight, remorse and guilt for wrong doings is also low. Repairing trust is also low.

It’s just not do-able. The person may be wonderful in other areas, but I cannot live without a mutual sense of empathy for one’s partner/loved one.

2. Maybe there is someone out there who can. This would be a pretty insensitive person themselves.

Is it possible to be satisfied with a person who cares nothing about your needs or feelings, nothing about your well-being, your career, your children’s well-being, whether or not you or they continue to have a roof over your heads or food to eat? Is it possible to be satisfied with a partner who sabotages everything you do because she/he must keep you down in order to feel superior? Who lies to you about everything, angles to leave you at home for all social events so that she/he can hit on someone else? Who lies about you and smear campaigns you to all your shared associates? Who will eventually treat you with pure disdain, silent treatment and mockery if you make any gesture of communication whatsoever?

Can you be relatively satisfied with that?

If you are going to be alone, anyway, wouldn’t you be more satisfied with your life if someone was not lying to you, cheating on you, lying about you, smearing you, sabotaging you, mocking you, silent treating you?

I suppose if you are impervious to all of that, including what the people in your life, and at your job, and your children, think of you, you could be relatively satisfied with a person who lacks empathy.

3. Relatively satisfied, that leaves a lot of room for dissatisfaction that could last years if it is a long term relationship.

I would say no. Empathy is at the crux of so many details in our lives, our viewpoints, our values, our goals, how we educate, how we parent, how we care for our family or friends when they get sick or old.

I also wonder if there is really a grey area with empathy. It seems to be that people either display it as a habit, or they do not. The ones that do not seem to display genuine empathy, try to fake it.

It is hard not to see through it, I think. It does leave a lot to be desired, and you know the saying, life is really too short. It also depends on what your values are and how much it bothers you, or not.

  • No. I could not. There are certain things I value above most other things. Kindness, Grace, Humility, are just a few. A person who lacks empathy could never possess these qualities. Not only would I not be satisfied, I would be so uninspired that if I stayed ( even for a time) it would start to affect me to the point that I would no longer be able to even inspire myself. I know this, because it happened to me. And once I found not only my inspiration once again, I found myself but in a different way. A better way. I became a better version of myself and I remembered all the things I liked about myself that I forgot for a minute.
  • Healthy Relationships require protection, caring, concern, love, affection which is true in nature. Someone who lacks empathy is unable to produce these energies, so what you’re left with is someone who is PRETENDING when they no longer feel like PRETENDING you will be thrown away like trash and replaced. Until they get bored and want to return to you so they can do it all over again, not for a second putting your feelings into perspective or consideration. To answer your question NO although many will try in the face of DENIAL.

4. The answer is no. But that does not mean that I would drop the conversation or leave him. Sometimes, people can have some real problems. The kind that is rooted to the unconscious that causes him to be cold and indifferent to others. I think I know a person like this. A lack of empathy can send one the chills. We begin to think that the person does not really care or is outright rude. But it is such a pity sight. You don’t want to know how much pain that person must have been through to be what he is.

  • When the person you really care about doesn’t give a damn about you your feelings pour out of you and fall in the dirt in front of you.

When somebody doesn’t have any empathy it is not that you sit down in despair trying to work out what is wrong, it is that they come back and kick you when you are down because you are thinking about it and not just doing what they want that really hurts.

  • Empathy, or being able to understand and share feelings with another, is a sign of someone who has let go of some or all of the negative issues of being self-centered.

A successful relationship is based on shared core values, and one of these is how we view the world. If we are focused on the self, this is a clear barrier to a harmonious relationship.

The Buddhist core values focus on helping others find happiness, and this requires the wisdom of empathy.

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