- I wouldn’t positively advise that. Better bet, one I have long laid already, is to 100% accept that no one has to accept you anyway. Or me, for that matter. Sweet deal.
So rather than pursue some ephemeral and dreamily wispy wished-for 1% trait of you-specific compatibility, why not lead with your own real likes, wants, needs and loves? These shine up the world around you with a glow that always shows those who like such things where you are, and who. There’s natural and mutual appeal there. That same likewise glow naturally wards off those disinterested, disinclined or unlike; otherwise.
That’s how you find your people, and it won’t be by pursuing them. That’s more than a little disgusting, depending how. Even just in principle it’s an unsettling and off-putting thing to set yourself upon. Everyone in the world, everyone you meet anyway, pursued and perused on the off-chance they may possess this inclination, this trait, and this 1% compatibility with you. And that’s all you’re even looking at them for! Not the person. You see through looking for this gleamingly elusive prize, which has practically nothing to do with them except by coincidence.
Pretty? Not even as a thought experiment. It won’t be by pursuit you catch in another’s mind, eye, heart, attention or the reverse. It will be by recognizing the other’s autonomy; all others. Recognizing they don’t have to act how you like or like how you act. Likewise. Not one of them has to, and that’s not hard or bad or difficult. It’s actually fine. Because you show yourself. You do your part. Give is yours. Let take be theirs. You don’t want any particular made-up specific reaction to you.
Your interest is in their natural response, find out what that is. How this person and you naturally mean and are to each other, and with. In interplay mutually aimed towards knowing – or not! Not if that’s what you find they don’t care for, or you. Good news! Good to find out.
Aim away. Aim yourself, and not at people just with. See who falls in, rings in alignment or maybe even polarized, and who drifts away, orbits off on their own courses. That’s rock and roll! Let it be.
Give yourself true, no less than you mean or other than you are. You’ll never have to worry or wonder why someone likes you then, or why they don’t happen to. It’s because of you. It’s because of each individual they. No. Not quite.
It’s not you or me. It’s we, or the fact there isn’t any such second person singular. Not really and not well. We haven’t got it in us.
We mustn’t pursue anyone. I don’t mean we can’t or should not, only that it’s nothing we must. There is no one we must pursue, and no reason why we should cock that kind of angle at them. Be easier in your aim. There’s no necessity or benefit to such must, when nothing compels us. Anyone who must pursue others they don’t even know is repulsive.
I mean that in the personal electromagnetism sense. It repels, because it is too much aimed charge, and badly aimed – not at the person, but at some secret or hidden prize that may or may not be inside them. And that’s all you need them for. Isn’t that pretty?
It’s ugly as a crock of curried feces, even in thought experiment.
Aim like that, with such pungent and musty needy must dragging it off, is liable to repel the very person who could have otherwise been perfect, compatible, greatly attracted to your own good or otherwise a worthwhile find. Suppose you’d actually aimed to find who they are. Whoever and whatever they may be, for discovery and exploration of what may be good. For discovering yourself in what they bring out in you, as they discover likewise in converse.
Imagine that. Instead of what they could be to you. Desirable aim.
2. Let the thought experiment begin with ourselves. When we love ourselves we maintain a balance of priorities, responsibilities and pleasures.
If we are able to give ourselves 100 minutes a day in personal time, exercise, grooming that leaves 14.4 hours of a day to serve others in some manner often with compensation of a wage. This will allow eight hours of sleep. Your actual times may vary. In being good enough for ourselves we are able to be good for other people.
In pleasing just one other person our world can be made complete and a stable life can be maintained.
- Don’t try to be within the 99% to be included or don’t set yourself apart to be included in the 1%. Instead, do exactly your deepest desire, so that you are doing what you want to do with your life.
Above and beyond the 99% or the 1%. Just doing what you want to do. That is what, I am doing.
Just pursuing the best potential my creativity can bring. Why get into statistics and being accepted or not accepted?
In Lalithasahasranama- (sacred hymn in Hinduism) a term comes- Bhava-abhava vivarjitha- someone who is above and beyond having or not having.
That is what one should strive for. I am trying