Relevance is all about perspective. You become relevant by being effective in a situation. A hammer is relevant when building things but is not so useful when trying to cook dinner 😉 as a random example. You have something that others don’t have, whether it’s kindness, ability to stand up for yourself, ability to fight, ability to analyze a situation, ability to encourage others, you have something that others do not have. It’s important for you to realize what this something is, and find out what you can do with it, and how it can help others. If you know what that something is but are stumped on how it’s useful, please reply back to this and I’ll be happy to give you some ideas on where it can be used 🙂 You are relevant, no person does not have something that does not benefit others in some way shape or form, even if it is not properly cared for. In my father’s words, we are all tools, and sometimes we get misused, and tossed to the side because they couldn’t find a use for us. This doesn’t mean we’re not an incredible instrument that could accomplish great things – we just need to get cleaned off, and put/used somewhere that’s effective for what we were designed to do. You are relevant, we just need to find out where that relevance shines.
By not worrying about the opinion of others who may say you are not relevant.
If you come to the conclusion you are not relevant based on the existing results of your efforts to date, then you simply have to re-examine what you are doing and do something different.
The beautiful thing that you have which is so important is the free will to change and be better if you want. Choose something else and relevancy will take care of itself. If you have the guts and determination to change, you’ll be fine. If you don’t have the courage to change, then you’ll ask the same question in a year.
I hope you choose free will and change
There has never been a better time to be irrelevant! Do you know who the President of the United States of America is? Hell, I am about ready to start reading Shelby Foote’s many-volume history of the Civil War. And if he’s still there when I finish, I’ll reread the works of P.G. Wodehouse.
But if you really want full engagement with the world as it is…
There comes a time in almost all our lives when we face the fact that we cannot do the drinking and socializing of a college student and hold down a real-world job. The earlier you have to be at work, the younger you are when you come to terms with it.
Your explanation reminded me of a line in “The Great Gatsby,” when Nick suddenly remembers it’s his 30th birthday: “Thirty — the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald was writing about the world of the 1920s turned topsy-turvy by the telephone, automobile and other inventions. Our time of hyper-communication produces the same queasy sense of shifting relevance. We make normal adjustments as details of our lives change and, wham, we find ourselves outside of our accustomed bandwidth but not tuned in to another one. We can’t message buds throughout the day. We have to be contributing to and monitoring a different information stream throughout the day. And most of our friends are in the same position. So there is a very real disorienting process at work. And people’s romantic lives change, often becoming family lives. When your friends’ TVs are set to “Barney,” things have really changed.
The economy and workplace changes are relevance traps. The pace of automation and artificial intelligence development continues to pick up. We are entering the age of the robots at full speed. We all know it means continuing job loss.
See if you can determine what your relevance anxieties center on. If your friends are transitioning to family men and women, transition to visiting often enough to keep in touch and not babysit, unless you’d like to. Otherwise, go to church (Episcopal churches have a coffee hour, more like half-hour, after their main service.) Go to a neighborhood bar — sports bars are good. There are still a few bookstores. Find out when they have readings and go to some of those. If you live near a college or university, cruise their web sites for info about upcoming lectures and other events. Etc. You will meet a lot of people if you set out to, and you will make a few friends.
If your relevancy concerns are about your job, don’t just keep going to work and hope everything will work out. Go online and do serious research on your industry or commercial sector, technological developments, how jobs will change. Then you can come up with a strategy.
If you don’t want to cycle out of the youth culture, give it a little more time. You will. If you want to embrace irrelevance, start reading Wodehouse’s Wooster and Jeeves stories and his Blanding’s stuff. “My Man Jeeves” and “The Inimitable Jeeves” for starters.