How can I stay calm in difficult situations?

1.

Learn how to calm down in a difficult Situation.

How?

  • When you are angry, you take decisions you shouldn’t take.
  • When you are happy, you make decisions you can’t fulfill.
  • When you are hungry you gulp the food but not eat it properly same goes with water when you are thirsty.
  • When you are anxious you lose your sense over you and lose the events happening at present moment.
  • When you are afraid you lose your wit and lower down your confidence and ability to improve.
  • When you are concupiscent, you masturbate unnecessarily and run for pleasure (one of the biggest thing where youngster lose their mind and somewhere lose themselves too)
  • When you are greedy, you even try to cheat your parents and friends for money or for anything.
  • When your mind is not calm it takes you everywhere and gives you anxiety, makes you to take every single thing personally which will either make you depressed or hurt your ego.

So, when your mind is not calm you do things which should not be done and you later regret and waste rest of your time in regret.

And when your mind is calm you take decisions precisely by determining the cons & pros of your own decision.

No doubt all the things I mentioned above are characters of human mind but ultimately they are only things which makes us suffer, I observed and realized that mind tricks you every time, you never know it sometime it makes you eat ice cream, sometimes it makes you do shopping without any purpose (just because your pocket full of money) it will make you run away from the hard things and reality.

Let me know if you find any mistakes regarding English grammar and spellings.

Whenever you feel any of these things I mentioned and described above,

Just close your eyes – take deep breath hold for 2 second and release it.

Repeat it thrice and then re-think on the situation you are stuck in- find out the possibilities to overcome the difficulty level and think less about the failure from that situation.

2.

Imagine a calm beach and breathe slowly. After few minutes or so, you should get calm enough to actually think.

Is there actually any crisis at all? Or do you just think there is one? If there is a crisis, how severe it is? Is baby crying and your partner yelling at you at the same time? Is your fridge empty and every shop that is in reasonable proximity is closed? Or the place is burning down and you need to get out fast?

First two are quite easy to deal with: Tell your partner to shut up, then fulfill the baby’s needs (food, diaper, or just love). The second case is even easier – just walk to your neighbor and borrow some food until shops reopen.

Actual crisis, like place burning down or terrorist attack in progress is harder to deal with, but then it’s even more important to keep your cool. First of all, seek an escape route that will leave you least damaged, if possible with no wounds. You must go calmly, but decidedly, thinking logically at every step.

In short, you need to cut off your emotions. It’s hard, and being a sociopath certainly helps with that task ;), but it is possible to train even on regular person.

If you can’t seek escape route, because e.g. you’re being held hostage, you need to look at what’s going on around you calmly, how many assailants there are, how are they behaving (are they methodic, emotion driven, or are they methodic but try to disguise it by faking emotions) and what they look/sound like (do they have any “uniforms” or are they in regular clothing? What is their race/ethnicity if possible to determine? What language they are communicating with?), then get that info to law enforcement if possible (e.g. you are being held hostage at the bank – most assailants left for the safe, only leaving few guys behind to keep look on the hostages and they’re either bored to death or not looking in your direction – you have a slight chance to text the info to some family member which then calls police with it, or better, a force member if you know one personally – DON’T call and cut off all sounds from the device (including vibrations – those make sounds as well), that will just get you killed as even a preoccupied not looking in your way assailants can still hear things).

3.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Victor Frankl

There’s a big lie we tell ourselves during stressful times.

It keeps us feeling lost, afraid, and unloved, like we’re being picked up and carried away helplessly by a storm.

Our heads can fill with scary images, words, and stories about the cause and who is to blame for our unwanted pain.

Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. You’re normal. This is how humans biologically respond to stress.

So what’s the big lie?

The big lie is that we have no control over our stress response. Actually, we do. A lot of control.

I’ve struggled the hard way through my fair share of troubling times. I’ve experienced money and job issues, battled with health, and been pushed in challenging relationships.

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is I grew up a highly sensitive person, who would internally react to almost anything that could be interpreted as negative.

Of the feelings above, I hopelessly sat at the “feel all of them” end of the scale.

That was until a particularly trying relationship caused me so much stress and anxiety that I became sick of my unconscious reactions, and vowed to do everything possible to stop it (or make it easier).

Through research and a lot of experimenting I created a practical way to calm myself down instantly anywhere, anytime, when a meditation cushion or reassuring book was out of reach.

The technique was so simple and powerful that it pulled me through a harrowing experience in that relationship, and has held me together in plenty of experiences since.

It’s easy to remember, has an instant effect on your mind body, and most importantly, is simple enough to be remembered and used when you’re going through the eye of your own stress storms.

How to Calm Yourself In Two Minutes

Take a moment right now to make yourself comfortable and try these four steps yourself:

  • Freeze yourself.

Remember the game you played as a child when you suddenly stopped mid-motion, like you were frozen in ice? Do that now. Halt your body parts, emotions, and thought processes. Think of yourself as a cartoon character that’s been hit with a stun gun. You can even make it a little dramatic if it helps.

  • Focus on your index finger.

(Skip to this if you find the first step difficult). For twenty to sixty seconds, concentrate solely on the back of your index finger. Let your mind and body be consumed by it.

Bring it closer to you. Study the rivets, creases, and those tiny little fingerprint lines. If your situation is noisy, let the sounds around you merge into a single background buzz, and let it fade out of your attention.

  • Take a conscious breath.

Let go of your focus and check back in with your body. Take a deep, conscious breath in, then let it go through your mouth, slowly and calmly, creating a wave of relaxation that starts in your chest and floats out through your being to the surface of your skin.

  • Look around consciously.

As you re-integrate with your surroundings, scan the scene in front of you. Remain as indiscriminate as possible with what you focus on the way you would when waking up in the morning.

Take conscious note of the thoughts that are trying to push back into your head and observe them with an attitude of curiosity.

How do you feel?

You might now feel a little more in touch with your senses, distanced from previous thoughts, and connected with the present moment.

Most importantly, you’ll recognize that the root of your discomfort is your thoughts. Everything else, like emotions, and physical discomfort, and pain, start there.

If you’re having difficulty slowing down the mind at the beginning, try this: If you meditate regularly, spend the last minute of your session focused on the same finger, in the same way. Doing this will associate (or anchor) the feelings of clarity, relaxation, and attachment with the action.

And if you don’t meditate, it’s a great time to start! It will help with your ability to cope with stressful situations generally, and dramatically improve the effects of this technique.

4.

What comes to our mind when we listen word “DIFFICULT”; not easy to do or understand and then a negative vibration comes from our mind?

So, these whole game depends on our THOUGHT

Let me explain:-

In a small Italian town, hundreds of years ago, a small business owner owed a large sum of money to a loan-shark. The loan-shark was a very old, unattractive looking guy that just so happened to fancy the business owner’s daughter.

He decided to offer the businessman a deal that would completely wipe out the debt he owed him. However, the catch was that we would only wipe out the debt if he could marry the businessman’s daughter.

Needless to say, this proposal was met with a look of disgust.

The loan-shark said that he would place two pebbles into a bag, one white and one black.

The daughter would then have to reach into the bag and pick out a pebble. If it was black, the debt would be wiped, but the loan-shark would then marry her. If it was white, the debt would also be wiped, but the daughter wouldn’t have to marry the loan-shark.

Standing on a pebble-strewn path in the businessman’s garden, the loan-shark bent over and picked up two pebbles.

Whilst he was picking them up, the daughter noticed that he’d picked up two black pebbles and placed them both into the bag.

He then asked the daughter to reach into the bag and pick one.

The daughter naturally had three choices as to what she could have done:

  1. Refuse to pick a pebble from the bag.
  2. Take both pebbles out of the bag and expose the loan-shark for cheating.
  3. Pick a pebble from the bag fully well knowing it was black and sacrifice herself for her father’s freedom.

She drew out a pebble from the bag, and before looking at it ‘accidentally’ dropped it into the midst of the other pebbles. She said to the loan-shark;

“Oh, how clumsy of me. Never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”

The pebble left in the bag is obviously black, and seeing as the loan-shark didn’t want to be exposed, he had to play along as if the pebble the daughter dropped was white, and clear her father’s debt.

In the same way, no situation is difficult we just think that it’s difficult while we can simplify everything by thinking positively.

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