Why must people insist that only mindsets have everything to do with the unforeseen negative circumstances in life?

Although we are complex beings in a very complex universe, we have been effectively taught to accept a series of false over-simplifications about both this marvelous universe and our Special place as a species like humans within it.

Most humans have agreed to accept those falsehoods as truths of society!

The real universe is much more like ‘mind plus spirit;’ than it is like Energy/matter; in reality there is likely no such thing as matter; but most humans never bother to question their false training and refuse to accept that how we choose to ‘see’ things vastly reduces what we can ‘see’!

It is a reality that our evolution through early stages of survivability in truly dangerous times has had us weed out ‘seeing’ much of what is there right in front of us to be seen; so that we can react quickly in times of real danger.

Now that we don’t live in times of such extreme physical danger, we don’t need that ability to act quickly, using only our primitive Egos; but we are taught to ignore our ability to grow beyond a limiting capability! Most of society uses our limitations to more easily control us; to their ends, not ours. As a result, our default is still to ‘see’ only a fraction of what we could use to grow and become more powerful human beings!

Once we choose to ‘see’ only negative possibilities we have a great deal of trouble seeing the universe which has chosen Life against great odds and has our backs in a universe of abundance!

In our ignorance, we choose to not ‘see’ Love and still focus upon the many, weak states of Fear! This makes it much easier for others to control us!

Some of us don’t like to be controlled by others, however! I am one such!

Can you finish the sentence, “Happiness is…”?

  1. “Serving others joyfully”

As a species we have evolved to experience Joy when we serve others anonymously!

In this generous universe, we also get back more anti-life things than we send out. If we keep that up we will be destroyed.

Being a non-loving human has a terrible Karma and most humans reject that concept because they insist in doing anti-life ‘things’ and yet want pro-life rewards like Love to come their way! Oops!

Said another way: “You get what you are; not what you ask for!” BE Love; get Love!

Serve and be Joy-filled!

“Serving others joyfully”

As a species we have evolved to experience Joy when we serve others anonymously!

In this generous universe, we also get back more anti-life things than we send out. If we keep that up we will be destroyed.

Being a non-loving human has a terrible Karma and most humans reject that concept because they insist in doing anti-life ‘things’ and yet want pro-life rewards like Love to come their way! Oops!

Said another way: “You get what you are; not what you ask for!” BE Love; get Love!

Serve and be Joy-filled!

2.

Happiness is distinct from pleasure.

Pleasure is fleeting. Happiness lasts.

Pleasure is all the good little things in life that bring a smile to your face. Maybe even a tear to your eye.

Happiness and pleasure may be different but you can have both at the same time. Pleasure is usually more readily available.

Happiness is a state of mind and a way of thinking, being, and living. It seems to be the default setting for a lucky few. It seems to me that happiness is borne, curiously, out of either ignorance or wisdom. Those in between seem to struggle the most with finding that elusive balance between their yesterdays and their tomorrows. There are people, though, who choose to keep their mind on the good of the here and now and don’t allow themselves to be bogged down by the pains of yesterday or frets about tomorrow. There are also those who don’t understand why you would think about the pain and frets in the first place. They cannot fathom it. Perhaps ignorance really is bliss.

Happiness is knowing what you can change and what you cannot change and being comfortable with it.

Happiness is gratitude, peace, mental health, kindness, and acceptance.

Happiness is freedom from insecurity and fear and regret and judgment.

Happiness is a calm embrace of life as it is, not as you might have wished it to be.

3.

Can’t really say what happiness is to others, people have their own perspectives towards happiness, and it could get unbelievably weird or wrong/sadistic, let’s not go there. With all that being said,

  • John loves to study and work towards his goals, for him seeking knowledge about everything is synonymous to happiness, here happiness is working towards your goals, could be anything and here specifically seeking knowledge/studying.
  • Carter loves to have his breakfast, lunch, supper and dinner with family and what makes it beautiful is that the meal is prepared at home, here happiness is having to spend quality time with your family members.
  • Sam is a kind and loving person, he has a positive attribute of being kind humble and generous to people, it makes him smile, gives him Goosebumps, it makes his day, so he won’t miss any opportunity where people smile or feel relieved because of him, any kind of help and he is always there, here Happiness is being a good egg/being Sam.
  • Dean comforts his wife, understands her, consoles her, and is always there for her, even in his/her/their worst times he jokes around acts goofy plays with her just to make her smile or laugh, and before they go to bed, it’s always certain that she sleeps close to him, cuddling, on his hand palm, because why not, he wants the day to end with everything pleasant, especially her smile is all that is needed, here Happiness is making your family member happy, especially your spouse, since usually their smile is all that makes your day.
  • Some people are hurt emotionally, mentally, and yet they opt to forgive those who have hurt them, because that’s how they seek happiness and sometimes when you forgive people, probably, chances are that someday they might be the reason of your happiness too. Here happiness is to be merciful to others.
  • When you receive a call or text from the person you really care about, no matter how busy that person is, they make time for you in the whole 24 hours period, no matter how emotionally broken/depressed that person is, no matter how tired they are, they will always message you even if it’s for a couple of minutes, because they believe and know that no matter how dull their day was, messaging you or calling you could change that and make their day pleasant, and it also makes the receiver of the call/text happy because it’s unexpected and something sweet and lovely. Here happiness is to experience something unexpectedly sweet and loving, and to seek comfort in contacting someone you really love or care about.
  • No matter what happens, I love to be close to Allah, worshiping him, having faith in him, praying, and asking him for anything, I know that He is always there, all knowing, hearing and seeing, and He also knows what’s in my heart, I also seek forgiveness in my prayers from Allah acknowledging that he definitely will forgive me, because He is the most merciful, and his mercy overcomes his wrath. I also try to follow what my religion teaches me, being humane, kind, generous etc. Here Happiness is finding comfort/peace in being, and acting on anything that pleases Allah ( Obviously what media and Islam phoebes portray Islam as, is certainly vague and should be ignored )
  • Happiness is to ignore and stay single on Valentine’s Day and be productive the whole day instead of being depressed, lonely and wishing for a Cinderella to leave her sandals outside your abode, stop daydreaming to be someone’s prince charming. (except for the married couples) To survive the day, all we need is, a reason to feel happy, if there isn’t one, then make one.
  • Happiness is to lose that stubborn fat that makes you look like Doraemon/Kung Fu Panda/Winnie the Pooh, the feeling of successfully reducing the fat percentage of your body is just overwhelming, because the clothes and mirrors become your friend instead of an enemy of your mood.
  • Oh and happiness also is to see that your refrigerator isn’t empty on the things you adore consuming or to find the right thing to eat when you have mood swings or are low on mental and emotional energy, whenever you make a visit to kitchen.

To summarize it, anything that ignites a smile on your face, gives you Goosebumps, makes you feel good, enhances your jolly mood and makes your day is what makes us happy. You find comfort in doing that, and there is a peaceful atmosphere around you every time that particular thing happens.

I apologize I could not finish describing happiness in a sentence since I prefer/like to elaborate things.

How do I psychologically accept the fact that I have endured evil for no reason?

  1. This takes some explaining. First, our world is polarized. It’s like two sides of the coin. So you could think of good and evil as the two sides. In order to be the complete coin, you would have to know both sides. And I say KNOW but not to live. How to live you choose yourself. Our world reflects this duality in all aspects. Man-Woman, day-night, white-black and the list goes on and on. Humans inside reflect themselves this way. We carry qualities inside that are both “dark” and white. Some are more polarized than others and some are more neutral in understanding. People who are polarized are usually more judging than those of neutrality.

So, now back to you. First look inside yourself. Learn to understand how you think and are inside. The world you receive is the world that you created inside of you. You can think that you’ve done no evil in life but a person can carry this either consciously or subconsciously inside their being. It’s essential to be positive in mind because you constantly create with your mind. A negatively oriented being creates a negative world.

Most humans are very unaware of this fact. The mind wanders with the wind and our emotional reactions are like that of animals. Meditation and contemplation may help you to detect things within you. It’s essential to know and to understand yourself. What’s happened to you has happened and nothing will change this. The effects will be how you deal with things. You can forgive or you can seek vengeance or work for a constructive solution. This will be of your own choice. But always remember this:

WHAT YOU CREATE, YOU WILL RECEIVE, NO EXCEPTIONS

Time has nothing to do with this. It’s just a Universal natural law. Do the best you can with your intelligence and heart. It’s not an easy school on this planet.

2.

Evil is a concept which not only makes sense in terms of religion but also in thoughtful life. If you allow yourself to step away from the church’s very noble moral framework for a moment, you will see that evil is the opposite of good in anyone’s book, and as such is as much an education as any parable. You need to understand what will befall you (or anyone else) if you were to let evil prevail. Without enduring some evil you may find it difficult to believe that such misery exists. It sadly does exist and now you really understand why it must be prevented at every point in life.

Far from no reason for endurance, you have been taught a lesson, and may you remember it well.

  • You get to choose how you respond to what life sends your way.

You can choose to assume the role of victim, and remain under the power and control of one more human who likely is not a good person.

Or you can choose to accept that such people exist and the universe itself will bring the appropriate Karma to them; without you ever wishing them an unwell thought.

To make your Karma even better you can even wish that they grow as their Karma unfolds! In that way their evil action makes you a better person; by choosing not to be vindictive about it!

We all have two Destinies: first to become such a Great example of living Love that others choose to become just like us; and secondly to not only do Love-focused actions, but to become Love Personified.

Sometimes another doing an evil thing to us sets us off towards our Destinies!

Choose your response wisely!

We are responsible for more than what becomes of us, we are also responsible for what becomes to others?

We are responsible for the consequence of our every thought, act or inaction, decision or indecision. Strike “thought” probably: if thought is unexpressed, it tends to lack in consequence. Where thought expresses in action, it is the action that concerns us.

Since what we do can impact others, we are of course responsible for what we do to others. We did it. They may challenge or question us on our actions, because they see that we did the thing.

Here’s where it breaks down in some. If someone challenges or questions you on something you definitely did, you can deny responsibility. However, the result isn’t that others will say, “Oh, so-and-so was not responsible. They denied responsibility for what they did, so no responsibility attaches to them.” No, the result will be that others will say you are an irresponsible so-and-so.

When it’s something you actually did, and others know this, responsibility for the act attaches to you in all eyes. You are always 100% free to deny it, but this says everything about you, and nothing about the responsibility all others see.

We are not responsible for what others do, only for what we do to them. Or what we have done that affects them. For most people, consequence is a reasonable connection drawn between cause and effect. We hold the primary cause as the main factor. Ripples far out into the pond, links many links down the chain – especially where each link is a sentient being whose response is their own – we don’t tend to trace all the way to the beginning and place blame there. Especially if that incipient action was itself blameless in nature. Some innocent action that only compounded by many later actions and choices of others produced a landslide. Responsibility for the actual landslide increases the closer you are to being its actual cause.

You can typically separate and weigh how much of a given effect was due to you, and how much was due to other factors and actors. But yes, to the degree our action directly effects another, it was our own action. We are responsible for that.

  • In a sense. Our decisions effect other peoples lives and our lives aren’t completely about us but a lot of people only think about themselves and think everything is all about them. I think the same thing sometimes but I try to correct my thinking as soon as I realize how selfish I’m being. It doesn’t usually take long but I’d like if I didn’t think that way at all. I’m not saying that I often think that everything is about me but sometimes I can’t help but think that. I guess we all think that some people more often then others

What is the most common red flag at the beginning of a relationship that people ignore?

  1. I can think of so many things to definitely look out for in that beginning part. Especially, when you’re out meeting new people.

The beginning parts definitely where I notice many little things about this new person. And I can tell pretty quickly that if I am going to like them or not.

Red flags come in many shapes and sizes. I really think that it’s up to you as an individual to set those boundaries really early in the beginning part of that new relationship.

Like tell yourself that you’re not going to sleep with this new person till you actually get to know them first, and then, that’ll tell you who they really are.

That’s one tiny but huge thing that most people do ignore, and then they’ll get hurt for being too freaking vulnerable.

Being too vulnerable is a huge red flag, being too clingy/touchy/feely. Asking a shit load of questions, and that could be about anything with your entire past relationships, that’s a huge sign & one to stay away from, why? Because talking about your past relationships with your new significant other isn’t what they or you want to hear, nor does anybody want to talk about their last/past idiot that they just got rid of.

Red Flags are very common in today’s world. There can be as many 10 red flags that I’d start looking out for when meeting new people, and they are as follows:

  • Excessive texting, emails, any form of violating your personal space. Excessive phone calls, you are constantly being interrupted with your time.
  • Lacking any Empathy & Compassion is a huge Red Flag, watch out for people who’ll mirror your actions, but you can tell in that gut of yours that they’re fake as hell. Believe in that deepest feeling, that’s where the truth lies.
  • Like I said before, clinging excessively, overly bearing, obnoxious, loud, condescending by nature, and one who loves to humiliate others. Grandiose personality, and definitely one that’s screaming for some kind of attention. Sadistic that only cares for themselves.
  •  
  • Jekyll & Hyde personality that speaks volumes about who they are when you’re on a one on one situation. Tempers being flared, things deflected, personal things getting projected, being gas lighted on the spot, which is testing one’s sanity to the upmost degree, and I mean on a fucking daily basis.
  • That outta mind, outta sight thinker, one that doesn’t value you unless you’re feeding into their arrogant behavior, meaning that they will not go outta their way for you unless it benefits them. So that give-n-take is so very one sided and they’ll lure you into doing it their way or you’ll be left out in the cold.
  • How much driving does this other person do to come see you, do they make excuses, do they always have other plans when you try and set a date. Do they play off of your personal weaknesses and know how to make you feel so vulnerable to their time, and nothings ever going to be about what you want to do.
  • How close is this person to their family, do they have great relationships, how many close friends does this new person have, do they always need to be out every Friday & Saturday night. Who do they run with, I mean check every fucking angle? See if they’re fleeting to every single thing and everyone. (Black & White thinking)
  • If you’re in a new relationship where you’re sexually active with this new person, see if they’re going to give you everything that you are desiring, meaning if you are scratching their backs, are they scratching yours. Don’t give them everything, if they don’t reciprocate then do not waste any more of your time. Maybe they’ll get you off, so freaking what, did it feel genuine or was just to get their rocks off and be done with you. How warms this new person after having sex or do they just pop up and leave or are they actually going to sit and chill for a minute. Some people get off, and are just cold as hell after getting their rocks off.
  • Jealousy plays a big part in this new relationship, which establishes trust, like who’s your new partner talking to when you’re not around, are they being deceitful or mischievous when you are asking them any kind of questions about how their day is going. That’s a huge red flag, one that really sucks to deal with, a person who’s not honest about what they do, or how everything is a secret.
  • Gas lighting/Projections are two words that kind of go in the same sentence when having arguments, because those two words establish dominance when arguing. Gas lighting is testing the abused side’s personal sanity and projecting things their way that can cause a person to lose their mental abilities to think rationally, especially if drugs and alcohol are involved.

There are many other factors that I can add to this post but I think you get the gist of what I am saying when you are meeting new people.

The “Red Flags” show themselves, they’ll pop up right in front of your face and you’ll excuse them all the time because you’re looking at other crap in this new person. If your heads on cloud 9, trust me that mushy gushy crap won’t last.

You’ll go for short thrills and spills, but in the end it can cost you your life, if you don’t make the right decisions.

My advice: work on your personal boundaries and then that way you’ll never get hurt. Or you can at least cover your butt till you at least know who the hell you are dealing with.

2.

I think by far the biggest, and the one that is fraught with the greatest risk of upset and disaster down the road, is when you find yourself not saying things. Trying to present a version of yourself based on what you think will be acceptable to them – because at this starry-eyed point, what you really, really want is for “this” to work out.You’re excited! You see all these possibilities fanning out, this person seems great, you hope but don’t know they are what they seem…

You’re more focused on controlling, tilting and angling what they get to know of you than on getting to know them. Or giving yourself to be known by them.

This approach results in a ton of holding back and things not known – especially if both of you are doing it, but even just the one can be fatal. A delayed-onset lethality, like some brutal cinematic kung Fu move that goes unnoticed at first…’til your love keels over dead at a later touch. Because you’re not giving you, not in anything like full measure. You’re not leading with your real likes, wants, needs and loves. You’re not discussing what love is, what it means, how love is good, what love needs to be. Oh, you tell yourself “Everyone has my idea of love in all important specifics. It’s just normal.” (BWAHAHAHAHAHA GROW UP!) Result: way down the road, some inconsequential act or remark reveals a breathtaking fundamental disconnect. One of you thinks it’s perfectly normal, the other is reeling in awe with a dislocated heart. It feels like a betrayal, because all this time you assumed you knew!

All because you’re too much a coward to risk “things are going pretty well, huh?” Even though in the first down-the-rapids rush of togetherness, that’s the perfect time to talk of love! What it means, what it needs to be, how love is good! Differences that would shock if they surfaced years in (because how could they be concealed so long?) (DUH, you don’t talk, you) can in that first rush of light, pleasure and mutual-anointedness be faced. Sized up, seen for relatively minor, and accommodation can be made that is good. And will never be a problem, because it was known to begin with.

So yeah. That’s a huge red flag. And guess what? It’s in yourself. Yeah, that happens. Most people looks so hard and harsh at the other for red flags, snorting like a bull ready to charge, they completely forget to look for red flags in themselves. Even though anybody ought to know that our response to the other – our response in comfort, in joy, in wonder and curiosity, in lust, whatever – gives a whole load of go-byes. What the other brings out in us would be pretty dumb to overlook.

What does it mean? This tamped-down, restricted and spin-spun self we find ourselves halfway giving? One thing it could indicate is, you’re not quite comfortable with this person. Another thing it could indicate is you’re not quite comfortable with yourself. Another thing: some lurking incompatibility? Perhaps you sense it on the peripheral of your emotional senses. Trepidation! Yet another thing it may mean – no, definitely does mean! The main one:

It’s a big sign you need to knock it the hell off. Grow up and start giving you full. Give you how you want to be known. Yes, sometimes the consequence is that the ever-so lovely “really, really want this to work out” feeling goes away. And that’s sad, kind of. But since what replaces it is the “You know what? I’m not sure I do want this to work out” feeling, or the “I definitely don’t want this to work out” feeling, and since this is the real finding that’s emerged from full interaction between you, guess what? NOT SAD. Bad truth is good to know.

You dodged a bullet! More than that, you dodged a bullet that probably wasn’t right for you. It was a bullet that didn’t have your name on it, and you dodged. Good job!

Your heart deserves a direct hit. Now get out there and lead with who you are! In a case like relationship, that information is need to know, and sooner the better – and you’re just the one to give it.

Why is lying visually okay but lying with words isn’t?

Who told you lying visually is okay? If you send someone a picture of the car you’re trying to sell them and you use it to close the sale, and they pay you only to find out it’s not even the car – the car you showed them is nothing like the beater you’re trying to foist off on them – that’s definitely a lie! And it’s so far from okay you could probably be done for fraud. All they’d need to do is show the nice car picture you sent and the sorry-ass car you delivered as-if.

Thing is, humans are very visual creatures, yet most of the specific meaning content we convey is done with words. Few liars carry around visual aids with them. Gestures only convey so much. Nor is it likely to bolster your case if you break out a pad of paper and pastels – the strategy is so unusual its peculiarity alone would arouse suspicion.

Words, though, are our meat and métier. We’re used to describing reality and receiving descriptions of reality in words. It’s usual; it works. We’re most of us pretty used to receiving untruth in words, too. We’ve had to acquire a facility with telling between truth and falsehood, preferably by close comparison with reality.

So it’s not that “lying visually is okay.” It’s simply that it hardly ever comes up, and so comparatively fewer words are spent describing it, warning of it, complaining of it. Lying is lying.

Lying is any deliberate (1) untruth (2) conveyed in an attempt to deceive (3). Three things, all that matters. What’s conveyed must be false (2), the person conveying it must know it’s false (1), and they must be conveying it with a goal to trick (3) you that it’s true.

Anything that meets those criteria is a lie. It doesn’t matter how you convey it. It’s just that as a practical matter, words form the readiest medium for meaning, for truth, for information. As a result, most lies are conducted by means of words. It’s purely a convenience.

Do you think it is necessary to know the truth in every aspect in order to live better or is it the truth will set you free?

1.

Not necessary. Beneficial. Advantageous. Also: not beforehand. You don’t need to know the truth in every aspect in advance of experience. Experience is the best way to get it! You proceed with the best grasp of truth available, current best, best so far. You hold it forward in the world with both hands and you see what comes to knock it out!

Any better grasp that comes is now yours. Trade up. As you move through the world upgrading your grasps every time each falls short, casting aside the misfit or false grasp for better and best, your truth will improve and improve everywhere you contact reality. You’ll quit fearing finding yourself wrong, too, because you’ll have learned: finding wrong always opens the way to find right.

Truth is correspondence with reality. That is all truth is. We want to improve our grasp of truth because it means more points in contact with reality when we exert force, and a more realistic aim in how we angle it to desired goals. We ease and brighten our consequence of being. We get better outcomes, and more of our chosen outcomes, the more we improve our grasp on whatever it is we have in front of us and all around. Whatever we bring ourselves to bear upon.

The main thing truth sets you free from is doing it the stupid, ineffective way next time. And every step along that path adds sureness, strength and if you wish, speed to every next step, and every step thereafter.

So mostly I’d say it is necessary (well, beneficial) to seek the truth in every aspect in order to live better. But you seek it actively, in being. In doing. You seek it in the test. You take the best grasp you have as your premise and you act from it, as if. Every act from a premise is a test of its premise. In thoughtful aim, thoroughly-known and weighed values and priorities, well-chosen goals, and ownership of all consequence from every course you choose, you find better and better premises, and you never stop looking to better them. It is in self-ownership and examination of consequence that every lesson we have to learn is best and most readily grasped.

2.

Truth is an objective point of view. As human beings we are subject to various self-driven forces that tend to dull the effects of raw Objective Truth in favor of a more subjective one that sets ourselves in a good light regardless of the reality. Can we ever arrive at the unvarnished Truth on our own efforts? I would despair if I thought that we had to for some meta-physical reason. It certainly doesn’t happen for more earthy reasons.

The quote from the Bible (the Gospel of John 8:31–32) is an important step on the way towards Truth, should we decide to pursue it.
31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
To gain Objective Truth, even in the limited way we can in this self-centered world in which we live, requires a point of reference outside the experience of being human. I have investigated some meta-physical sources of Truth and found that the Christian Worldview (properly pursued) is the closest to a way that aligns with my lived experience and what I have uncovered about the Real Reality surrounding us. Jesus Christ didn’t come with a message. He was and still is the message. It would do a person well to investigate his claims of bringing redemption to us all.