What’s the difference between loyalty and honesty?

  1. The two would best go hand-in-hand. If you are honest then you are being loyal to honesty. Honesty is transparent in character and produces the more positive response both within you and in others. Still, there are situations where honesty can create anger and hate and even an enemy. It’s always said that honesty lasts the longest. This I find true because you can always trust an honest person more than you could do with just a loyal person. Most people value honesty as a positive trait rather than negative. Think of your inner reaction when you’re honest. You express truly from within. Honesty requires bravery because it’s difficult in our world to stand up with honesty. But it is the better way, regardless of what people say. It will make people trust each other more and by this, the connection and understanding will increase.

Now being loyal to something can be both in a negative and positive sense. You can be loyal to a cause, to a partner, to a company, to a country, to a belief and the list goes on. Well, the loyalty can be biased for selfish and destructive purposes, just like a dictator. It can also be good, like loyalty to your partner. But loyalty is a mind construct with rules. It’s not taking each situation into account. Therefore the mind makes up its own “rules” that you must follow. Each situation in life may be very different. To use loyalty as an excuse for negative behavior is poor judgment. It’s like politicians. They defend their statues although common sense says different.

So, honesty would be the better choice (for me) as it is directed to ALL people rather than favoring someone/something with loyalty. Hand in hand is the best.

  • I will go with honesty.

Honestly refers to when a person is knowing the truth and doesn’t try to hide it.

Whereas, loyalty refers to when a person is knowing the truth and tries to hide it because that truth will harm his or her friendship or any else kind of relationship.

And it was asked why. So I will go with honesty because of God and karma. For example, my friend came and told me that he got failed in one of his exam. He was having an alternative of passing without giving re exam. He was having some big people behind him who can make him pass with one phone call to the principal. I advised my friend that you can do it. But don’t tell your parents a lie that you passed the exam. I forced him to call his mother and tell her that you failed in the exam and you are going to take help of someone to pass it. [Let’s keep that aside whether his mother gave him permission or not.] But point is that earlier when he wasn’t calling his mother, that big person wasn’t picking his phone call. At the moment when he told whole truth to his mother honestly, next moment call came of that big person. He was somehow punished by his parents for failing in exam but at least he told them that he failed. If I was loyal at that point I would have never forced him to tell your parents that you failed. !

So, try always being honest.

2.

“Honesty is the only debt friendship can incur.” – Me. You’ll note, even there: Can incur. Not does by nature incur. There’re some crazy friends out there, whose beautiful dynamic is none of my damn business! It’s theirs. Their own.

Their precious. Maybe.

Hey, as long as they’ve arrived at a mutually-accepted and wanted dynamic, cool beans! If you know the ways someone is a liar, you often know what you can trust them for. Knowing is boss bomb salad.

Loyalty?

Loyalty’s not important to me, to be honest. If loyalty is another’s honest response to me, I love their free gift. I honor it, but not as a debt or an obligation. I abhor and reject obligation upon others (from me, anyhow – and I’m free to! STUFF IT!). Technically nobody places obligation on me, either. But it’s not so they notice the lack. Makes no difference, just so they’ve offered their expectation. I see it, see the good of it, I LOVE IT – SOUNDS GREAT! – And I freely fulfill it! I don’t even care if they call it obligation. A pet word they’re free to cherish, it binds me not – I do what I want. I never gave anything I didn’t want outside of work or school. I never regretted anything I gave, freely.

I love very much to serve. You know? To help! I’m help. I just need tips and cues, hints if they must – just ask, that’s best. Something to point me where I didn’t notice the need.

(You know who’s bad at this? Manipulators. But I’m totally fine with it! If they can manage with charades and clever subliminal – just so I get the message, right? Help me help you better than that. Much less work for you and quicker results if you’d just ask, folks, but you do you! Manipulators never got anything I didn’t want to give. They just got it way slower, by far more frustrating roads for them. Not my fault! I’m dense, direct, and the literalist man alive. Wait. Two of those are faults. My faults! But how do such canny observers of human behavior not notice them, and adjust tactics? Just ask, seriously.)

Am I loyal? To you? I’d say you might be putting it in a confused way. What I give is devotion. It gets way past loyalty, doing all the little things loyalty does in passing while hurtling on towards every direction in which my meek lil’ self could potentially serve. But you might as well call clemency or forbearance mercy. Each is but one mighty, pale aspect of what mercy is. Very mighty. Pretty pale, though. And to say I’m loyal – well, what you see is as real as how I feel! That’s what I always say.

Works ok. If people think I’m loyal, I confused ’em with devotion. If they think I’m patient, no, no, no-o-o-o-o-o-o – but my nigh-infinite tolerance probably confused them. I have no patience. The difference between me and a saint goes way beyond my lack of patience.

So, loyalty – devotion, too, come to that – aren’t things I want. Unless they wanna give. Then I want it not because it’s loyalty, and I crave loyalty. Not because it’s devotion, and I crave devotion.

Because I crave what they really want to give. Whatever the hell THAT is, I dunno! Up to them – that’s what makes it so sweet! It’s of the self they wish to give. To me. Holy shit, right?

That’s all I want. Cravy, stuff.

Why Honesty?

So. You might ask. Why’s honesty different? Just another virtue, right?

Yeah, it is. True that. But each virtue is specific. As a general rule, honesty is the one virtue that most helps people give and receive who they are. Zoom in on each other, and on each one’s response to the other, and the other’s response to them. It’s the virtue aimed most square-on at truth. When applied to self, it helps one fit in reality, really, fully. Truly. As they are. It helps you be what you give.

Friendship is built on trust, predicated on knowing. It’s not really possible for two people to know each other, if neither gives who they are. They end up knowing each others who aren’t. Oh, we can gain a lovely knowing of each other’s’ facades, and often, we’re in on a great many of the jokes, forgiving as we go. Gleaning glimpses beyond and between the cracks, to help us navigate between us. We can even grow to hold real trust, in facades so consistently grown. Like that Twilight Zone episode – hey, maybe that is their face now!

In any case, we relate to each other exclusively through what each gives, intentional or undeliberate. All of it.

Honesty is the easiest, most natural, and some even say (as a policy) best way to give self and know each other. To reach to into the world, in knowing it. To show the world yourself.

Loyalty is a narrower, fiercer, specific attachment to a particular thing or one. It is not bad by any means – unless what it attaches to is bad. It is free. We can pretend we owe it to each other, but we don’t. We can make up and offer promises to each other, and accept them – our owing is free gift, mutually-made invention. Loyalty would be greatly tarnished by pretense otherwise; immeasurably lessened, and made false, if we claimed it was not a free embrace by free beings, but sprang of itself automatically from specific types of relation. False. And far too often in this world, this is exactly how loyalty is conceived and laid: as an obligation, due to another by nature of some relation.

Not for me, thanks. None owed to me. All relationship’s properties are the absolute and free creation of the two in relation. Anything of loyalty given freely to me is of course, that one’s own choice! You can’t prevent people from being loyal to you!

But if it’s not honest, what good is it?

Anything not given freely is given falsely.

I’ll take the honesty, thank you. But even there: only what you offer. Don’t worry. I’ll know you.

Does this thing make me a good human if I don’t do bad or do good from reward in paradise?

  1. This question will attract a lot of “believers” of different faiths. These are only BELIEF systems and there is no real knowledge behind this. But these beliefs have some very valuable information behind them that can be useful. All those men like Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus and some more were teachers for mankind to evolve inside and to understand their true nature.

Each and every one of them lived in different places and different times. They needed to speak in such a fashion that it would make sense to people for their place and time. Regardless of your belief system, there are good things to learn and to practice.

They teach us to love another, to do well and be helpful, to be compassionate, to be honest, not to kill nor to steal. So, you see that there are many valuable practices for your everyday living. If you learn to understand the true meaning behind these teachings and then incorporate them in your daily life, then you are a good human. Life doesn’t have to be complicated nor do religions have to fight one another for the beliefs. None of them have any proof of what they say. They just try to force that upon you and by using fear like eternal suffering and punishment. This is only scare tactics to make you believe them.

Christianity is the ONLY religion that doesn’t teach that “God” is inside you. All other major religions teach that God is within you. Also the Jewish faith teaches this and Jesus was after all Jewish. I know he is considered a great prophet by most other religions including the Jewish as well as in Islam.

If you look to Islam, then think of the story of Mohammed. He was an honest business man, compassionate and loving, always wanting the best for his fellow people. He didn’t teach violence.

So, you see that all these prophets taught people love and peace as well as to use common sense and heart with honesty in your daily life. It’s good to pray for others, it’s good to say “thank you” when you have good health and food on the table. A positive mind to life and to all living beings will take you a long way.

“God” wants us to be one humanity and not the split and selfish humanity that we are today. We need to create this. The only way to create this is by DOING it. Speaking doesn’t do anything to create a good life. Don’t fear the teachings of punishment of hell and condemnation that they want you to believe in. A loving God would never punish his children. You may get a lesson to correct things you understand wrong but this is only for your own good. Think of parents when they try to raise their children. Sometimes they need to be “hard” but it’s mostly because of love for the children. God doesn’t see us any different. We are the children, learning and growing up. We have the choice of what we want to do. We judge ourselves by our thoughts, feelings and actions. God is within you, remember!

So, don’t worry too much about the church. That’s all man made. Live from within your heart and pray to God within your heart. Use your creativity, intelligence and common sense and your experience in life. They will bring you much further in life and beyond. We are able to create a paradise on Earth if we all learn to love, live in compassion and respect one another. Do you honestly think that God created religions for us to kill each other in his name? It doesn’t make much sense if you think about it. Would you cut if your arm because it wants to be different from your other arm?

So, be practical and trust in your own heart because there you will find your guidance.

With love to a human brotherhood, all united as ONE.

2.

Our Creator lets us know, that every person has committed sin and our sin has separated us from Him & His protection; that our sin has hurled us “over the fence” into the devil-Satan’s domain of sin, known as “living in our sins.” We are everyone doomed to Hell by our sins, and even those who have spent their lives doing many beneficial things for other people, because their “good works” and everything coming from them, is tainted with their sin!

But, regardless of the magnitude of our sin, no one has to end in Hell! And, this is because our beloved Creator made The Way for us to escape Hell, to connect directly to Him and His protection! So, The Way is not about us struggling to be a “good & acceptable person” but it’s simply about learning the accuracy of our Creator’s Word and deciding to trust & obey His Word, in spite of our questions, years of misinformation, confusion and doubts, to be “Saved & Reconciled” to our beloved Creator. For He will tell us how to connect directly to Him, to escape Hell and thereafter, His Holy Spirit will enter into our heart/ our core to GIVE US the power to dissipate our every sin one-by-one and He will GIVE US greater & greater trust in Him!

The Way “back across the fence” to connect or to be reconciled to our Creator is to trust our Creator’s Word that our Lord Savior Christ-Jesus paid the horrific price of our sins for us, with His sinless life, when He died on a cross in our placewas buried and on the third day after His death, our Creator-God physically raised Christ-Jesus from the dead, defeating death over us, that those who decide to trust His Word and are “Saved & Reconciled” will be physically called into Paradise! And, AFTER we are “Saved & Reconciled” our Creator proves Himself extensively to us in His own unique & astonishing ways! It’s an astounding thing!

After we decide to trust His Word, to be “Saved & Reconciled” we need only to talk directly with Himto invite Him into our heart our core, and anyone can easily do this by saying in their own words, “Dear God in Paradise, I ask You to forgive me of my every sin; change me to be the way You would have me to be – – – I don’t want to sin against You anymore, so help me to avoid temptations; give me deep-seated understanding of Your Word; tell me what my appointed mission is! So now I ask you, dear God, to bring Your Holy-Spirit into my heart to save me from my sins! I trust Your Word that you just did! Thank You, Lord Jesus for saving me! In Jesus name, amen!”

That’s it! No religion! No performing rituals! But, simply, just you & our Creator! So now what?

Now, it is vital to learn the accuracy of our Creator’s Word to us! Anyone can easily learn what His Word actually says and does not say by taking notes, while listening to any of the CERTAIN scholars listed who are incredibly accurate & interesting to hear on TV & YouTube mostly on Sundays from around 7am to 1pm:

David Jeremiah, Jentzen Franklin, Adrian Rogers, Benny Tate, Samuel Rodriguez, Tony Evans, Creflo Dollar, Gregory Dickow, Charles Stanley, Rick Warren, John Hagee, Jonathan Hagee, Franklin Graham, Luis Palau, Perry Stone, Michael Youseff.

In what way should the people in the community be empowered?

Everyone should be empowered and an equal in their community. Every being is its own free and sovereign being. NO ONE MORE AND NO ONE LESS. Each being has creativity and intelligence inherited inside of them. So, everyone has value.

So, how would this work in a society? Look at the Indians of the Americas. They sure had a Chief but equally a tribe of elders. But what people tend to forget is that EVERYONE was involved with ideas and opinions. It was a system built for all people to participate and if you didn’t want to, you simply didn’t have to. The unity of individuals create a community or a society. The problems that arise are solved with the combined thinking of these individuals (therefore, each individual is important).

As having a community or society council, problems can be discussed openly, honestly with pro and cons, with the ability to see effects either positive or negative. Then find the best solutions to the problems. Sure, mistakes will be made but the community will together learn from these mistakes and evolve in understanding. So, you see, our present systems don’t even work close to this way of thinking. It’s ruling people as slaves. There’s so much intelligence out there that never come to use, because of a selfish, unmoral, disrespectful and destructive ruling from just a few. People should have the power together. People are formed by individuals. So, each individual should have empowerment inside and be responsible in their world.

I hope this give you some food for thought and also how important you are. Love yourself for who you are and show that same love and compassion and respect to the world around you. BE THE MIRACLE!

What is wrong in saving someone’s reputation by not telling your side of the story?

  1. Well, from your statement, it means two things.

Firstly, it means they was a case where you had to tell the truth which you knew but, you decided to keep quite. Maybe because, the accused was a big personal or he was well known for his good works and telling the truth, will spoil his image. And this shows, he/she didn’t take the blame anymore but rather, the other accused he stood with had to take the blame since he or she had no evidence and he/she was not popular. So maybe you feel guilty about what you did because you were in the right position to do a right justice.

Secondly, it means you were the victim and due to the fact that, you love that person so much and don’t want to spoil his/her reputation, you decided to take the blame. And making people feel he was the victim instead. So surely, those who knew you didn’t do anything, told you, you were wrong to take the blame.

I want to say that, if you did the first one above, then, it was so wrong. Because the person who would be taking the blame is innocent. Yet, he/she is paying for someone else’s’ crime just because he/she had no reputation.

But, if you did the second one above, then you are a generous and loving person. Which is not wrong. It means you have Love in you. You decided to take someone’s pain and shame. And that’s the best thing ever.

Still, if that person was aware of what he/she did and has been doing it, you shouldn’t take that persons side no matter his/her reputation

If not, lives will be at risk. Your silence will destroy many people including you.

If you keep covering that persons shameless evil or whatsoever it is. Which you know is wrong, then you are very wrong. You should stop now. It’s never too late!

Once a person keeps doing something without guilt or shame, that person will definitely not change from his ways. And hence, don’t look at it as a mistake. Even if the person tells you so.

If you want to know if that person is serious about the “mistakes thing, let he/she be ready to take full responsibility of his/her actions. By accepting he/she did it. What has been done, has been done.

There’s nothing you can do about it. But trying not to do it next time. And you need to be willing to stop.

It’s either now or never! Don’t say next time. The may never be any.

2.

What is wrong in saving someone’s reputation by not telling your side of the story?

It can be very wrong if we are protecting people whose actions are harming others.

Take for example “some” of the hierarchy in the Catholic Church, who allegedly covered up sodomy and sexual assault of young boys perpetrated by “some” of their clergy, whom were supervising boys in different scenarios. They covered this up allegedly in the attempt to save the “reputation of the Church” – at the demise of the most vulnerable. “Some” church leaders allegedly turned a blind eye to a crime in their diocese – a horrid evil act that scarred some for life – which also violated their own Church’s teachings/law; (example taken from findings at a trial of an Australian Catholic Archbishop). All for the sake of saving “reputation”.

This type of loyalty to a person or an establishment, does not override the fact it was misused to cover up harm. It does not make this wrong right.

These type of cover ups are also a common occurrence with abuse in the home as I have personally experienced. Others will cover up to protect the reputation of the family, and/or the offenders from facing the consequences.

So to answer your question appropriately here, we need to ask ourselves this;- “is saving someone’s reputation by not giving your side of the story, allowing someone to keep harming others or protecting them from slander?; (where there is no basis in the truth, but your story version could be twisted indicating otherwise).

In the former situation it would be wrong – the latter it would be the right thing to do.

We can’t ever do wrong by doing the right thing.

3.

Sometimes your reputation is damaged because you didn’t tell your side of the story. And, the other person could had told their side of the story and it was based in a lie. You may get treated differently or lose friends/acquaintances because people believe the first thing that they hear. Sometimes, you can even get in trouble by the law if it’s serious enough. If you don’t care about other people’s opinions, which you shouldn’t, then it won’t matter. But if the person is smart, then they won’t have an opinion of the other person without hearing their end, or they would know that the other person is saving face for someone. .

I can give you a prime example to where it can go wrong and it fits in to your question. You should try to see if you should or should not save someone’s reputation Ex: Single mother dilemma with absent fathers for the children. We hear the mother’s stories all of the time, but we don’t here the absent father’s story, and fathers generally have the bad reputation in these scenarios. However, it does not mean that it is true, as it is a case-by-case basis.

Would you tell someone about a known con artists if you guys walked past them? How about a car salesman that sells cars in bad shape and overcharging you? What about bad services from a company? Would you tell on someone committing a crime? Would you report domestic violence, infidelity, or child abuse? And my last would be if someone had lied on you when they told their side of the story, would you clear your name?

These are interesting questions for you to apply to your question. In my opinion, a lot of people don’t tell the full truth or just lie on you. I will say my end of the story because of liars.

4.

What’s wrong with this is you’re sacrificing your own reputation (and possible safety) by protecting their reputation. Not necessarily a bad thing unless you want to see it that way, and you end up suffering because of it. Now days self-sacrifice is considered a noble thing to do because less and less people are willing to make sacrifices. I have a story to share that might put things into perspective.

I was in a relationship with an abusive, dead beat guy; verbal, physical, emotional, the whole 9 yards. His niche was to financially leech off women and make babies with them and then leave them in the dust once he got bored. Other people warned me about this but I didn’t believe them until he tried to do the same to me. We were friends for about 2 years and I never saw this evil side to him, and just thought all of his baby moms were lying. Once we started dating he manipulatively moved in my house while I was the only one working and paying bills, he would ask me to help him get a job, then make excuses as to why he couldn’t keep the job once hired. He would always brag about how his sperm is so powerful that he could get women on birth control pregnant. He’d threatened to kill himself if I didn’t allow him intimacy without a condom. One time he exploded with anger towards me when I announced I got my period (even though he knew I was on birth control.) Any time I tried to break up with him he’d threaten me with suicide. It was a nightmare. Once after a few months of torment in my own home I couldn’t take anymore I just packed my stuff and found another place to live and abandoned him in my place over night (the lease was up anyways so I was allowed to leave without penalty.) I did this thinking that he would just move on and find someone else’s life to ruin. Boy was I wrong…

After I moved on I noticed I started getting harassment and threats from random strangers in the street anytime I left the house (I lived in a small town where pretty much everyone knew each other.) People I didn’t even know were coming up to me, calling me a whore, and throwing things at me, telling me I needed to go to hell, or I needed to repent. Some of these people actually wanted to hurt me. I didn’t understand why I was being assaulted on a daily basis. Then a little birdy through the grape vine told me that he had told pretty much all of our mutual friends that I was cheating on him, I was doing black magic, and I was using evil forces to curse his money making abilities to keep him together with me. None of this is true. I literally could not believe what I was hearing, after all I did to help him get on his feet so he could leave my house. I ended up pressing charges for defamation of character, and getting a restraining order, then I was forced to drop the charges because he left town and the police couldn’t find him to deliver the lawsuit papers, but untimely filing the lawsuit helped to stop the threats, harassment and bullying I was receiving because the truth was finally out on the table, and people started to realize that I was the victim, not the other way around. Had I never went to court and got the police involved I could have been injured or possibly killed because of all the horrible rumors he was spreading about me. But the truth came out and everyone stopped messing with me.

So long story short I would NOT recommend saving someone’s reputation at the expense of your own just due to personal experience.

Attached is a link to a website with a hotline for abuse if anyone seeing this needs help getting out of an abusive relationship. I’m a survivor, not a victim, so I want my story to be a cautionary tell that helps someone

5.

If it is something menial then doing that is the magnanimous way out of the mess. But on the other hand, it could get problematic to you. I’ll give you an example. I know a man and a woman. I’ll keep it anonymous. They had something of a playful romance going on between them. One day things took a turn when the woman accused the man of misbehaving with her. I don’t want to get into the details of what happened but I could tell you the woman twisted what happened between them and exaggerated it. I personally feel that she even lied to some extent. The woman is a manipulative person and she lied many times for many things. On the other hand, the man was the most genuine guy you can ever meet. That’s my impression of both and it was a shock to me. She didn’t let him talk and was threatening his reputation actually. The man just agreed to whatever she said and apologized. He never said a word but I sensed that he was saving her from embarrassment by not telling his story. I spoke to him personally and got to know his side of the story and man I was right. The matter didn’t blow up fortunately so it is fine. But if it had gone big, imagine what he would have to face. Nobody will trust him even if he says his side then. Being a woman, I feel sad to say this but when it comes to defaming a man nobody raises a question. There are many evils against women in the society but how women are using gender to victimize men is ignored by all. Why would you lose your head to save a manipulative liar?

Humans seem to be on a certain path to self-destruction, giving some people’s behavior, does anyone agree to this?

Yes, I do agree with you. Reason is that humans are more and more separated. Our evolution is in total imbalance and our ways and mentality is unfortunately negative in many parts. There’s a battle going on (spiritual battle). What I mean by this is the battle of each and every person which happens inside.

An evolution needs to happen individually (spiritual), socially and technologically. On our world these 3 are out of balance. In the individual and social structure we’re way behind compared to the technological advancements we’ve made. This imbalance can easily destroy us as we have technology to destroy our planet in a matter of days.

Humans in the early stages as a race survived by building societies and by helping each other. This is a proof of how important it is for us to be ONE humanity rather than being split as we are now. We are after all just one small planet in an infinite universe, so to be one humanity here would make a great difference.

Our present stage of separation comes from the selfishness, fear and mentality that exist today. We’ve been programmed during a long time to become separated. This has been done by society, culture, education, religion and so on. People started to defend their things, then conquering others (which created more negativity in form of hate and dislikes). Borders came up and countries were formed. Rulers came up in the different places (this separated the strong and rich from the normal people). This is what we consider the normal way of living. If you want to speak about real democracy, just understand that it doesn’t exist on our planet. We’re still in the Stone Age when it comes to social living.

Humans still don’t know their true meaning. Who we are, why we are and where we go. Totally unanswered questions but belief systems are in place to deal with this today. Believing is NOT knowing. So, this has separated mankind even more. As one family, we would have a much better chance to solve this mystery because this is the ONE enigma that all humans want to know. However, fear rules in many forms. Many are desperate and scared and instead of working with the inside, many just blindly accept what they are told by whoever wishes to control them. Politics, religion, education and you name it.

So, instead of working towards unity of the human race, we work completely against it. Many humans have good hearts and wish to live in peace and happiness. Well, it won’t happen if we don’t change the mentality. The selfishness must go, people need to develop compassion, the golden rule must be essential in each and every one, positive thinking and constructive solutions are essential. The respect for each other is a MUST. As long as we think in present terms, we are moving towards self-destruction. It’s clear with all the pollution, the religious and political tensions, our food habits, the medication we take and a lot more.

WE RECEIVE WHAT WE CREATE, NO EXCEPTIONS

These are just some few things that I have observed and learned and I could write you an essay but all of you who read this have intelligence and you can be a part of figuring out how to change our present direction. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE, DON’T FORGET THAT. There’s no excuse. Do the best YOU can in where you stand. Lead the way and be the miracle for a wonderful world! We are in truth ONE and only our minds separate us from this. There are those who work against this but they are a minority compared to most people. Their rule will never prevail when people stop feeding into their lies and power. Everyone is powerful and everyone has value and meaning. Your self-esteem is essential. Use it with love, compassion and respect but stand up to what is incorrect.

For a united world and humanity in peace and love,

Is the acceptance of a person’s bad behavior saying it is okay?

  1. You have some good answers here so I’ll add a little bit from some stand points which may be good to carry in your baggage.

First, it’s true that you consent to things when you don’t object to something. This could be for good or for bad, depending your evaluation inside of you. This is all about who you are inside. We have a frame of reference that we’re programmed with through family, society, culture, religion, politics, education and the list continues. We also have a frame of reference based on experience and our own understanding of things. These will vary a lot from person to person and from culture to culture. It takes a lot of awareness and knowledge to “judge” things. In some cultures, it’s acceptable to steal, in others it’s acceptable to kill, in others acceptable to lie and so on. So, as you can see, not everything is so black and white.

Many of these things are programmed into you already as you’re born. The influence of people around you will shape you inside as you grow. It becomes “natural”. Just like the cub learns to kill from a mother lion.

Here’s where our inner intelligence comes to use. We can observe and learn every day in life but most humans are ignorant to this. They cling to their ways unless something very strong happens to them. Like a drug addict who gets a revelation of something very loving and positive and that makes him change his life in a dime. I know of such cases.

When we watch an act and we know by experience that it’s incorrect, it would be helpful for the other(s) to know this. You can speak up and explain why this would be a bad act. It will depend on the situation, of course. A person in rage wouldn’t be the best to communicate with but maybe later when the person is in more balance again. There are a lot of ways we can do things and just because the way it was done didn’t fit your personal understanding, doesn’t necessarily mean that it was bad or wrong. This requires discernment on your part. It’s also a learning for you. So, here the use of intelligence becomes important combined with experience and heart.

You can always state what YOU would have done, if you feel this is appropriate. At times people will see this as arrogance, so choose wisely. It’s not your responsibility to run other people’s life and decisions but if it’s clear to you that it’s incorrect, then by compassion and love you could interfere in order to help, but it should be done with intelligence and caution. Respect for others are important. It’s easy to be quick in judgment but it’s because of our limited understanding.

There are cases when things need to happen quickly and rapid decision making is essential. These are situations that normally require action rather than speaking. Use your heart (intuition) here and act as you feel appropriate. The common sense we carry will be essential here.

It’s said that a wise man makes mistakes but he only makes them once. I think that’s a true and accurate statement to carry inside of you (as a guideline). By helping others, you will also help yourself. If you are more of the selfish character then what others do is of no importance to you. The mentality you wish to have is up to you. Everything has a consequence for you and for your outside world.

I believe, in my experience, that it’s good to share and good to discuss things. In a relationship, as example, it’s much more fruitful to be open about things. Sure, it gets tiring at times and it creates discussions but if the love is there and the compassion then your relationship can evolve to a much higher level. Being egoistic usually will lead to a breakup. We learn from one another, if we are observant and with this we can build a better world. The mindset here needs to be positive and open. The heart also needs to be opened and be loving.

2.

It’s saying it’s acceptable. Whatever we accept in our presence, let pass without challenge, question or protest, we have deemed acceptable (to us). A lot of its impromptu caucusing. We look around, nobody else objecting. We feel a little weird acting like our standard means more than theirs. Like we reject what they accept – so we don’t. We just shrug or sniff inwardly, say “I guess that’s the kind of room I’m in,” and let it be acceptable to our own person. Not making waves, it’s called.

Sometimes by way of a disapproving gesture, we leave that room and resolve not to come back. We may even give the bad behaviorist the cold eye as we pass, and if they greet us say nothing. The cut direct.

As approval words go, “acceptable” is bare-minimum criteria applied. Just good enough to not get ejected from the line, or forcibly retooled, or chucked to the bin of scrap parts and fruit rinds from lunch. “Okay” runs much higher. It goes all the way from just above acceptable to almost as high as “Hey, not bad.” – High praise on that end. True, some people use “acceptable” and “okay” as synonyms, but these people are freaks. When you consider the sheer force not okay can carry, (as in “This is not okay.”) – It’s plain “okay” carries way more charge than merely “acceptable.”

I was just kidding about “these people are freaks”! But still, I mean if somebody says “This is not acceptable,” I’d assume they’re miffed or irked a bit, maybe. But if someone says “This is not okay” – LOOK out. It’s a higher grade either way, okay.

Bottom line, when bad behavior happens in your presence and you do not object, your act is an approval. You have approved that this behavior is acceptable in your presence. Whatever your inward conflict or unease, you did not get out your big red-dripping rubber mallet sized NOT O.K. stamp and wham it down. You approved. Not a ringing endorsement, silence, but there is the endorsement for all to see. You are here. You witness that. You let it pass. You have passed that behavior.

Really: what’s it matter? You’re not approving airplane parts.

You’re just approving what’s acceptable, to you, in your presence. What you let pass and did not reject. If people want to know what that specifically means, they can get to know you.

You probably let a lot of stuff pass, considering (rightly) it isn’t yours. Perhaps you do not consider yourself the judge of humanity?

Sound judgment there, if so. However be aware what you let pass in your presence does reflect on you. You are one of those in the room, who by their actions or inaction decree: this behavior is such that we accept it here.

Acceptance is not a positive act (oh sure, it can be, but). Simple absence of rejection, objection, and correction – is acceptance. What is accepted has proved in that time and place: acceptable.

Not everyone who speaks up in challenge or lifts their voice in pointed question considers themselves the judge of humanity. They merely consider themselves a fit judge of what behavior needs to be called out. Acts, not people, are fit topics for our judgment. Assuming we can say what’s wrong, with what we call wrong.

3.

It depends on what you deem as bad behavior. I accepting that your young child half assed her chores the same as having an employee or coworker half assed her job and the responsibilities she should be undertaking?

Of course not, it’s all subject to the situation. Are you doing any good by calling out people on potential harm, you could be. I can call you a dummy, and you then rebut by saying that your child or brother has a developmental delay, and that I shouldn’t say that.

Yet I am calling you dumb, not your child or brother, whom I of which understand there are some issues which he is not responsible for. Whereas you are responsible for, as my child or employee. As a child, you wouldn’t get mad because I am your parent, and an employee you can say that I am discriminating against you, but if you can’t handle the responsibilities of the job you were hired to do, then you likely will be fired, or at the very least demoted to another role within the company.

Why do some people still keep doing bad things when they feel really bad about them?

  1. You have some good answers in here. So, I’ll contribute a little bit. Humans in general are like slaves on this planet. Few really have nice homes, TVs, cars, food and some. The majority just struggle to have a roof over their heads and to eat. Well, that’s definitely imbalanced justice in my eyes. Some people have learned to accept this fate but for many it’s just a killer for the life force.

We are also being subjected to many things which destroy us as humans. Food (fast food, processed food). It’s all very bad for the mind and the health. We are being diverted into nonessential living like TV, games, mobile phones etc. these things split us as humans because we isolate ourselves from each other and start living in a virtual reality instead. The health goes down when we don’t move our bodies.

Money is another problem. There are billions of people working with things that they don’t like. They go like robots to work and use their energy without liking their job because they need to earn money in order to survive. People are scared to change. They cling on to things which they are familiar with and the fear rules. You never know what’s around the corner……

So, because of all these things, many just become depressed and they feel they have nothing to live for. Many wish for a home, family, money, good friends and so on but still people fail to be happy even if they manage to achieve all of this or part of it. The desire seeks more because that is inherited in the human, to learn and to experience more. The control system doesn’t allow for this freedom. It uses most humans for the purpose of others, our Elite. They do as they please and they have very intelligent ways of manipulating humanity for their selfish purposes.

By religions we are taught how small and sinful we are. Your self-esteem is being deliberately killed rather than to raise it. Education and titles do the same. If you don’t have a profession or education then many look down on you as nothing like a trash man or cleaning lady. These people do great service for many.

News sell like crazy because they have put our state of mind into fear, anger and even hate. The negative news sell best of all. Where do you see positive news? Very rarely. This is controlled and there to create a negative mind. I don’t watch this crap anymore.

Education knocks you down. They scare you to death with: If you don’t pass your exams then you’re useless. I thought we were there to learn. Not just pass an exam and get a title. Do you know how many intelligent people there are out there without titles?

So, conclusion: we are programmed to think negative, therefore we do and create negative habits. Habits that are hard to break when you get used to them. We have been made lazy in mind. It’s easy to control people who don’t think. We all have creativity and intelligence, so use it. The negative patterns will just kill you even more. Why do you think people escape to alcohol, drugs, sex/porn, material things or adventure of danger? It even reflects in certain styles of clothing and music. This is the side within us that rebels against this negative mentality. We simply forget who we are and the value that each and every one has.

So change the circumstances in your life. Do that which creates positivity and energy within you. When enough people do this on our planet, then the world will start to change. The false security which you live under is a programmed illusion. Things can change so quickly and COVID is just one thing that clearly proves this. Things will not get better until the collective human mentality changes.

For the future and that’s NOW

2.

It may be that these persons fail to make all the changes to their lifestyle that causes these bad behaviors to be so easy for them to do.

With persons who are overweight, for instance, if they tell themselves that by eating less fast food they will be okay, they are not likely to lose weight. Even if they start eating less fast food, the changes that they need to make to their lifestyles are much greater than that. When they eat less fast food, they are likely to feel hungry, so they resort to cake, cookies and ice-cream to feel full. So they end up gaining even more weight. Then they get depressed. So, they buy more comfort food, and eat it to feel better. Then they may start having medical issues, so they are able to move around less. So, now, they are eating more comfort foods, and moving less, so they gain even more weight, and get even sadder. The key is ending this horrible cycle is holistic healing.

In order to cease to do bad things, whatever they are, all the areas of a person’s lifestyle must change to facilitate him/her becoming the new person he/she wants to be.

Let me return to the example of the overweight person. Their diet, the amount of moving around (exercise) they do, what they say to themselves, the times they eat, what they do when they are sad and so on, has to change, in order for them to lose weight, keep it off and stay healthy & happy.

The key is a holistic approach to change – an approach that touches all areas of a person’s lifestyle. Then, people will stop doing the bad things they tend to do.

3.

When you feel bad about yourself you just see everything in bad way , also it very easy to do bad things it doesn’t require much , compare to good beneficial things you require to have more awareness and bra conscious about your steps , good things require effort time to achieve , but right now you want to feel escape and mask this feeling as soon as possible so you start to develop bad habits or treat people bad or commit something immoral , in order to gain your desire of feeling good , also you can feel temporary enjoying this stuff but after you done with it you feel even worse but what you do ? You what to feel satisfied again or occupied by desire, occupied by the hype of the moment, so you keep making wrongdoings, it is bad for you and also for the people around you, but at this moment you don’t want to know what it is bad or good as long as it give you temporary fake satisfaction even if it was on the expense of yourself or other.

and that why being addicted to bad habits or things that do harm to yourself is easy and can develop rapidly once you start it, and as long as you don’t want to be really be conscious about your situation and want to find rapid way for escape away from these thoughts that make you stress or give you unpleasing feeling you trap yourself in vicious circle that will not stop if you didn’t stop it and take a real action, and make some efforts to change it.