Is the acceptance of a person’s bad behavior saying it is okay?

  1. You have some good answers here so I’ll add a little bit from some stand points which may be good to carry in your baggage.

First, it’s true that you consent to things when you don’t object to something. This could be for good or for bad, depending your evaluation inside of you. This is all about who you are inside. We have a frame of reference that we’re programmed with through family, society, culture, religion, politics, education and the list continues. We also have a frame of reference based on experience and our own understanding of things. These will vary a lot from person to person and from culture to culture. It takes a lot of awareness and knowledge to “judge” things. In some cultures, it’s acceptable to steal, in others it’s acceptable to kill, in others acceptable to lie and so on. So, as you can see, not everything is so black and white.

Many of these things are programmed into you already as you’re born. The influence of people around you will shape you inside as you grow. It becomes “natural”. Just like the cub learns to kill from a mother lion.

Here’s where our inner intelligence comes to use. We can observe and learn every day in life but most humans are ignorant to this. They cling to their ways unless something very strong happens to them. Like a drug addict who gets a revelation of something very loving and positive and that makes him change his life in a dime. I know of such cases.

When we watch an act and we know by experience that it’s incorrect, it would be helpful for the other(s) to know this. You can speak up and explain why this would be a bad act. It will depend on the situation, of course. A person in rage wouldn’t be the best to communicate with but maybe later when the person is in more balance again. There are a lot of ways we can do things and just because the way it was done didn’t fit your personal understanding, doesn’t necessarily mean that it was bad or wrong. This requires discernment on your part. It’s also a learning for you. So, here the use of intelligence becomes important combined with experience and heart.

You can always state what YOU would have done, if you feel this is appropriate. At times people will see this as arrogance, so choose wisely. It’s not your responsibility to run other people’s life and decisions but if it’s clear to you that it’s incorrect, then by compassion and love you could interfere in order to help, but it should be done with intelligence and caution. Respect for others are important. It’s easy to be quick in judgment but it’s because of our limited understanding.

There are cases when things need to happen quickly and rapid decision making is essential. These are situations that normally require action rather than speaking. Use your heart (intuition) here and act as you feel appropriate. The common sense we carry will be essential here.

It’s said that a wise man makes mistakes but he only makes them once. I think that’s a true and accurate statement to carry inside of you (as a guideline). By helping others, you will also help yourself. If you are more of the selfish character then what others do is of no importance to you. The mentality you wish to have is up to you. Everything has a consequence for you and for your outside world.

I believe, in my experience, that it’s good to share and good to discuss things. In a relationship, as example, it’s much more fruitful to be open about things. Sure, it gets tiring at times and it creates discussions but if the love is there and the compassion then your relationship can evolve to a much higher level. Being egoistic usually will lead to a breakup. We learn from one another, if we are observant and with this we can build a better world. The mindset here needs to be positive and open. The heart also needs to be opened and be loving.

2.

It’s saying it’s acceptable. Whatever we accept in our presence, let pass without challenge, question or protest, we have deemed acceptable (to us). A lot of its impromptu caucusing. We look around, nobody else objecting. We feel a little weird acting like our standard means more than theirs. Like we reject what they accept – so we don’t. We just shrug or sniff inwardly, say “I guess that’s the kind of room I’m in,” and let it be acceptable to our own person. Not making waves, it’s called.

Sometimes by way of a disapproving gesture, we leave that room and resolve not to come back. We may even give the bad behaviorist the cold eye as we pass, and if they greet us say nothing. The cut direct.

As approval words go, “acceptable” is bare-minimum criteria applied. Just good enough to not get ejected from the line, or forcibly retooled, or chucked to the bin of scrap parts and fruit rinds from lunch. “Okay” runs much higher. It goes all the way from just above acceptable to almost as high as “Hey, not bad.” – High praise on that end. True, some people use “acceptable” and “okay” as synonyms, but these people are freaks. When you consider the sheer force not okay can carry, (as in “This is not okay.”) – It’s plain “okay” carries way more charge than merely “acceptable.”

I was just kidding about “these people are freaks”! But still, I mean if somebody says “This is not acceptable,” I’d assume they’re miffed or irked a bit, maybe. But if someone says “This is not okay” – LOOK out. It’s a higher grade either way, okay.

Bottom line, when bad behavior happens in your presence and you do not object, your act is an approval. You have approved that this behavior is acceptable in your presence. Whatever your inward conflict or unease, you did not get out your big red-dripping rubber mallet sized NOT O.K. stamp and wham it down. You approved. Not a ringing endorsement, silence, but there is the endorsement for all to see. You are here. You witness that. You let it pass. You have passed that behavior.

Really: what’s it matter? You’re not approving airplane parts.

You’re just approving what’s acceptable, to you, in your presence. What you let pass and did not reject. If people want to know what that specifically means, they can get to know you.

You probably let a lot of stuff pass, considering (rightly) it isn’t yours. Perhaps you do not consider yourself the judge of humanity?

Sound judgment there, if so. However be aware what you let pass in your presence does reflect on you. You are one of those in the room, who by their actions or inaction decree: this behavior is such that we accept it here.

Acceptance is not a positive act (oh sure, it can be, but). Simple absence of rejection, objection, and correction – is acceptance. What is accepted has proved in that time and place: acceptable.

Not everyone who speaks up in challenge or lifts their voice in pointed question considers themselves the judge of humanity. They merely consider themselves a fit judge of what behavior needs to be called out. Acts, not people, are fit topics for our judgment. Assuming we can say what’s wrong, with what we call wrong.

3.

It depends on what you deem as bad behavior. I accepting that your young child half assed her chores the same as having an employee or coworker half assed her job and the responsibilities she should be undertaking?

Of course not, it’s all subject to the situation. Are you doing any good by calling out people on potential harm, you could be. I can call you a dummy, and you then rebut by saying that your child or brother has a developmental delay, and that I shouldn’t say that.

Yet I am calling you dumb, not your child or brother, whom I of which understand there are some issues which he is not responsible for. Whereas you are responsible for, as my child or employee. As a child, you wouldn’t get mad because I am your parent, and an employee you can say that I am discriminating against you, but if you can’t handle the responsibilities of the job you were hired to do, then you likely will be fired, or at the very least demoted to another role within the company.

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