- The two would best go hand-in-hand. If you are honest then you are being loyal to honesty. Honesty is transparent in character and produces the more positive response both within you and in others. Still, there are situations where honesty can create anger and hate and even an enemy. It’s always said that honesty lasts the longest. This I find true because you can always trust an honest person more than you could do with just a loyal person. Most people value honesty as a positive trait rather than negative. Think of your inner reaction when you’re honest. You express truly from within. Honesty requires bravery because it’s difficult in our world to stand up with honesty. But it is the better way, regardless of what people say. It will make people trust each other more and by this, the connection and understanding will increase.
Now being loyal to something can be both in a negative and positive sense. You can be loyal to a cause, to a partner, to a company, to a country, to a belief and the list goes on. Well, the loyalty can be biased for selfish and destructive purposes, just like a dictator. It can also be good, like loyalty to your partner. But loyalty is a mind construct with rules. It’s not taking each situation into account. Therefore the mind makes up its own “rules” that you must follow. Each situation in life may be very different. To use loyalty as an excuse for negative behavior is poor judgment. It’s like politicians. They defend their statues although common sense says different.
So, honesty would be the better choice (for me) as it is directed to ALL people rather than favoring someone/something with loyalty. Hand in hand is the best.
- I will go with honesty.
Honestly refers to when a person is knowing the truth and doesn’t try to hide it.
Whereas, loyalty refers to when a person is knowing the truth and tries to hide it because that truth will harm his or her friendship or any else kind of relationship.
And it was asked why. So I will go with honesty because of God and karma. For example, my friend came and told me that he got failed in one of his exam. He was having an alternative of passing without giving re exam. He was having some big people behind him who can make him pass with one phone call to the principal. I advised my friend that you can do it. But don’t tell your parents a lie that you passed the exam. I forced him to call his mother and tell her that you failed in the exam and you are going to take help of someone to pass it. [Let’s keep that aside whether his mother gave him permission or not.] But point is that earlier when he wasn’t calling his mother, that big person wasn’t picking his phone call. At the moment when he told whole truth to his mother honestly, next moment call came of that big person. He was somehow punished by his parents for failing in exam but at least he told them that he failed. If I was loyal at that point I would have never forced him to tell your parents that you failed. !
So, try always being honest.
“Honesty is the only debt friendship can incur.” – Me. You’ll note, even there: Can incur. Not does by nature incur. There’re some crazy friends out there, whose beautiful dynamic is none of my damn business! It’s theirs. Their own.
Their precious. Maybe.
Hey, as long as they’ve arrived at a mutually-accepted and wanted dynamic, cool beans! If you know the ways someone is a liar, you often know what you can trust them for. Knowing is boss bomb salad.
Loyalty’s not important to me, to be honest. If loyalty is another’s honest response to me, I love their free gift. I honor it, but not as a debt or an obligation. I abhor and reject obligation upon others (from me, anyhow – and I’m free to! STUFF IT!). Technically nobody places obligation on me, either. But it’s not so they notice the lack. Makes no difference, just so they’ve offered their expectation. I see it, see the good of it, I LOVE IT – SOUNDS GREAT! – And I freely fulfill it! I don’t even care if they call it obligation. A pet word they’re free to cherish, it binds me not – I do what I want. I never gave anything I didn’t want outside of work or school. I never regretted anything I gave, freely.
I love very much to serve. You know? To help! I’m help. I just need tips and cues, hints if they must – just ask, that’s best. Something to point me where I didn’t notice the need.
(You know who’s bad at this? Manipulators. But I’m totally fine with it! If they can manage with charades and clever subliminal – just so I get the message, right? Help me help you better than that. Much less work for you and quicker results if you’d just ask, folks, but you do you! Manipulators never got anything I didn’t want to give. They just got it way slower, by far more frustrating roads for them. Not my fault! I’m dense, direct, and the literalist man alive. Wait. Two of those are faults. My faults! But how do such canny observers of human behavior not notice them, and adjust tactics? Just ask, seriously.)
Am I loyal? To you? I’d say you might be putting it in a confused way. What I give is devotion. It gets way past loyalty, doing all the little things loyalty does in passing while hurtling on towards every direction in which my meek lil’ self could potentially serve. But you might as well call clemency or forbearance mercy. Each is but one mighty, pale aspect of what mercy is. Very mighty. Pretty pale, though. And to say I’m loyal – well, what you see is as real as how I feel! That’s what I always say.
Works ok. If people think I’m loyal, I confused ’em with devotion. If they think I’m patient, no, no, no-o-o-o-o-o-o – but my nigh-infinite tolerance probably confused them. I have no patience. The difference between me and a saint goes way beyond my lack of patience.
So, loyalty – devotion, too, come to that – aren’t things I want. Unless they wanna give. Then I want it not because it’s loyalty, and I crave loyalty. Not because it’s devotion, and I crave devotion.
Because I crave what they really want to give. Whatever the hell THAT is, I dunno! Up to them – that’s what makes it so sweet! It’s of the self they wish to give. To me. Holy shit, right?
That’s all I want. Cravy, stuff.
So. You might ask. Why’s honesty different? Just another virtue, right?
Yeah, it is. True that. But each virtue is specific. As a general rule, honesty is the one virtue that most helps people give and receive who they are. Zoom in on each other, and on each one’s response to the other, and the other’s response to them. It’s the virtue aimed most square-on at truth. When applied to self, it helps one fit in reality, really, fully. Truly. As they are. It helps you be what you give.
Friendship is built on trust, predicated on knowing. It’s not really possible for two people to know each other, if neither gives who they are. They end up knowing each others who aren’t. Oh, we can gain a lovely knowing of each other’s’ facades, and often, we’re in on a great many of the jokes, forgiving as we go. Gleaning glimpses beyond and between the cracks, to help us navigate between us. We can even grow to hold real trust, in facades so consistently grown. Like that Twilight Zone episode – hey, maybe that is their face now!
In any case, we relate to each other exclusively through what each gives, intentional or undeliberate. All of it.
Honesty is the easiest, most natural, and some even say (as a policy) best way to give self and know each other. To reach to into the world, in knowing it. To show the world yourself.
Loyalty is a narrower, fiercer, specific attachment to a particular thing or one. It is not bad by any means – unless what it attaches to is bad. It is free. We can pretend we owe it to each other, but we don’t. We can make up and offer promises to each other, and accept them – our owing is free gift, mutually-made invention. Loyalty would be greatly tarnished by pretense otherwise; immeasurably lessened, and made false, if we claimed it was not a free embrace by free beings, but sprang of itself automatically from specific types of relation. False. And far too often in this world, this is exactly how loyalty is conceived and laid: as an obligation, due to another by nature of some relation.
Not for me, thanks. None owed to me. All relationship’s properties are the absolute and free creation of the two in relation. Anything of loyalty given freely to me is of course, that one’s own choice! You can’t prevent people from being loyal to you!
But if it’s not honest, what good is it?
Anything not given freely is given falsely.
I’ll take the honesty, thank you. But even there: only what you offer. Don’t worry. I’ll know you.