Is it positive to feel like the only person you can rely on is you and you don’t need anyone to survive?

  1. Well, that’s true anyway. There is no-one else other than yourself in this world when it comes down to how your reality is projected. Your reality is singular and broadcast only to yourself and although you share how you see your reality in outwardly projections and expressions, the experience of life is one experienced separate to others.

We create elaborate stories to try and persuade ourselves, sometimes even to the degree of deluding and manipulating ourselves, to try and escape the essence of our existence at its core; being alone. Much our life can often be based around escaping the raw truth of life as a human. We are very much alone in the world. We spend the entirety of life alone in our heads. Aldous Huxley once put it;

We live together, we act on, and react to, one
another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The
martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone.
Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies
into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every
embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations,
feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through
symbols and at second hand, incommunicable.

This does not mean we should all hide under a rock and live solitary lives away from each other. This does not mean we should not seek help when we have problems. This does not mean we should rebel against the world based on the false assumption no-one else cares or can help or can be with us in life. These are all huge mistakes and often are made when the individual feels abandoned, isolated and invalidated, as opposed to feeling liberated, integrated and at peace. And there IS a difference between someone who ventures off into life because he/she has not faced the darkness within. They usually venture off precisely because they are failing to understand nothing will change until they themselves change, and so consequently they take their baggage everywhere they go and project it onto others while pretending they can manage on their own. They are of course lying to themselves while assuming the role of a false warrior/prophet capable of swallowing trauma and suffering and it not inevitably change them in the process. The contrary to this is someone else who ventures off into life with the darkness within integrated and the work done to ensure the decisions they are making are not contaminated by past experiences and their perspective, self-awareness and understanding are all aligned with how things actually are and they are at peace with themselves.

At the core of our human conditions we are social creatures, and we need to at all times recognize this. We DO need each other to survive. Our moderns revolve around cooperation in order for us to survive. Without this we would all die and population numbers plummet as supply could not mean demand needs. We all live and die contributing to the continuation of our societies.

The point you should take away is the fact that despite all this, despite how social we are and despite how much we connect and depend on one another, life is always experienced by yourself and on your own. You must still learn to integrate into the world, find out who you are, accept who you are, learn to love yourself and connect with others. There is a difference between alone in the world by the very nature of the fundamental predicament of your human condition and, being lonely. The latter is a negative experience and usually by choice of the individual (despite them perhaps not accepting it as such). The former is a positive when the individual is meeting his/her needs and seeking to transform and realize their true potential. Being alone when manifested correctly is a sure sign of strength, courage, independence and self-acceptance. And if this is happening, you can be with others and still embrace the reality of your predicament. You understand the true nature of your existence and it is no longer something to be afraid of nor something to avoid. This is when you are at peace with the nature of your predicament.

The path you choose to take is a path you walk alone. This is very sobering but very awe inspiring and wondrous. It gives you a tremendous amount of responsibility. It can make you see that you are the chooser of your fate. It is at the center of human existence. It is what guides us, and prevents us from doing such. It is a blessing and a curse, depending on how it is dealt with.


This is from the Bible…. I am a believer.

No. This breeds a posture of self-reliance, and self-salvation, and self-judgment, and ultimately self-worship.

However, the Bible does instruct to trust no man, but the LORD. This command is simple but the lines and boundaries therein are subtle.

We must honor the fallen nature of man; that is our neighbors and ourselves. As fallen we are broken, and as we wouldn’t rely on a broken clock for time, so too we shouldn’t rely on others nor ourselves to navigate through this world and this life.

We must therefore look to the One who authored and continues to author all of existence. The One who drew the boundaries of time and space itself. For He alone knows where we must go and what we must do.

I understand that not everyone believes in God or knows if He truly exist, but I must share that as a man who once tasted great worldly success by following my own will and trusting my own understanding; as a man who did not know or believe in God, I was a ruin. Only when I searched for Him did I find, and I have never known such fullness of joy.

Here is a scripture which has helped me numerous times:

Proverbs 3:5–8

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil. 8 It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.

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