There are two categories of living in this universe: the pro-life one which the universe selected and supports and the anti-life way which much of society sells (using falsehoods and downright Lies).
Accepting Life as it is allows you to move on in a Love or pro-life way, but escapism has you in the anti-life mode and this generous universe will send you ever-more anti-life ‘things’ until you self-destruct.
If you choose the pro-life ways, like Love, than you get so much more back that you may have to give your gifts away or be overwhelmed by their excess.
Choose; but don’t whine if you choose to self-destruct! No Great cheese to go with it though!
Like an addiction to a drug that worsens with time, Yes, apparent acceptance seems “better”.
In a metaphorical way, we become accepted by the drug that gradually addicts us….and acceptance becomes dominance over us….expecting us to disappear and only submission remains.
And of course, escapism is used in your question as a pejorative while it is “alone time”* is essential for self-awareness and inner peace.
even escaping from the narcissists who need and even demand our allegiance
So the tug of war is becoming aware of who we are within ourselves is fighting with the outer demands to be submissive to a culture (and only be seen as acceptable by submitting).
Nietzsche was correct in writing about dominant animal herders seeking out submissiveanimals to herd.
That is the inevitable eventual path when groups of people signal, that they are seeking acceptance outside, and not inside, themselves.
IMO, only when we inwardly embrace goodness* will be free ourselves to no longer seek acceptance “out there somewhere” because we will have found that acceptance within us….becoming human.
And goodness is not “out there somewhere”….the herders and the herded are “out there
Intention and attention is key to shifting your current perspective.
You bring up a topic that silently torments many people. There is a deep desire (from your true innocent nature) to connect, love and care for others, yet the past prohibits any act with potential to create feelings of weakness and vulnerability.
In short, fear is obstructing love.
It is perfectly natural to feel this way. Your brain’s primary function is to protect you from harm, not to secure yours or others’ happiness. Your human experience so far has created a reason for your brain to compel you to behave and become the way you are… It’s a form of conditioning rooted in an instinctive impulse to protect you.
However, thankfully you still have self-awareness and higher thinking that enable you to make choices which override conditioned responses; including apathy and selfishness. You can choose to think and behave differently.
If you believe it possible, you can learn to forgive yourself and others.
Ultimately, it is about how much you truly value preserving your inner peace.
Your outlook on life cannot become positive if your internal thinking is negative. It starts with loving yourself enough to want to feel better about yourself and others. A strong intention towards inner peace is necessary.
You see, inner love leads to inner peace, which you can then easily turn into an expression of a positive outlook towards humanity.
The goal is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing from the past, or on the outside, holds power to disrupt your inner peace without your conscious permission.
I am in no way suggesting that you deny the past. I am certainly pointing you to accept it as a fact of life that you cannot do anything about. You don’t have to control your thoughts, you just have to stop letting them control you.
I am also encouraging you to introspect and self examine how your negative thoughts are serving you today.
Moving forward is really far more about you than what happened to you.
There is no reason for anyone one of us to continue to perpetuate darkness when we as humans hold power, and the intelligence to change our thinking and spread light instead. We all can at least try to turn the darkness of our experiences into light for ourselves and others.
It all depends on what we choose to focus on.
Society teaches you to just barely survive in the many weak states of Fear; the universe has evolved to have you become a Love-focused human who learns to Love yourself, unconditionally; then Love others the same way.
So, do the following:
Step out of the Fear mode; Turn around towards a Love focused attitude; Start your journey to become such a Great example of living Love that others choose to be just like you; and, Keep on Keeping on! About half a billion humans are trying to live Love-focused lives and, in this very non-linear universe where Fear is very weak and Love is very powerful/strong, that sub- group is already more powerful than the sum of all other humans combined.
As long as you stay in the weak states of Fear, your way is downhill all the way. So, step out, turn around and start, then continue, your journey towards becoming Love-focused.
Or live in Fear and become even-more pathetic; that is easier in the short-term!
You seem to suggest that people are like animals and cannot change their nature of being selfish and apathetic.
But, it is not so. But, the change can be effected only by the individual concerned. And that has to come from within and not imposed upon.
How is that possible?
It is when the person suffers deeply because of the selfish and apathy that they decide to turn over a new leaf from then on.